Screaming Peonies
by Mystic Warrior Princess
Summary: Set after No Rest for the Wicked. Sam finds a badly injured Dean and the fight to reclaim his beloved Big Brother begins. Major protective Sammy, mentally and physically hurt Dean. Lots of loving, tender moments and Wincest. HurtDean! ProtectiveSammy!
1. Chapter 1

**Screaming Peonies**

Author's Note: This story takes place after the _No Rest for the Wicked_ Season Three finale. If you have not seen it, then please do not read this story until you have.

I do not own any of the characters.

Advisement: Rated for language and story content. There will be Wincest.

**Chapter One – Glazed and Glistening**

"Oh man, check this freak out. What ya crying over baby, miss your Mommy?" one of the gang taunted the man he had just finished kicking. The other two were cheering him on. Bending down, the bully took the hurt man's shirt collar between his hands and tugged hard, eliciting a sharp gasp of pain from the injured man.

"_What the fuck are you doing?"_ a very tall man yelled from the far end of the alley. "Get the fuck out of here and leave him alone you bastards" the man screamed as he made his way closer to the group.

"I'm quaking in my boots tough guy. You want to get it on, then let's go, I'm sure I'll have no trouble taking you down, _cupcake_" the asshole called back. The tall man moved with stealth and quickness, drop kicking the jerk before he had a chance to see the foot headed his way.

The other two with him made the mistake of trying to take down the tall man, they were lucky he didn't kill them. Deciding to cut their losses, the three of them took off and left the tall man bent over and breathing heavily.

Regaining his composure he went and knelt down beside the injured man. "It's okay...it's okay, they're gone now, they won't hurt you anymore" he said in a soothing tone to the man with his face shielded by his arm.

There was something about that voice that the injured man trusted. Somewhere in his mind, he was sure he'd heard that same voice before, but then his mind wasn't working so good anymore and maybe he was wrong.

"Let me help you. I want to see how badly you're hurt. I can help" the kind man explained. Laying gentle hands on the injured man's arm he gently tugged it down so he could see his face.

_It was Dean!_

Sam feel backwards in stunned shock and disbelief that the brother he had been searching for since the Hellhounds had taken him was now in front of him. He was alive and there was absolutely no mistaking that it was Dean.

Regaining his balance and huddling over Dean he pulled him into his arms and cuddled him tightly against him. "Dean...Dean...you're alive...oh, thank God" Sam cried, his tears falling freely over Dean's face, leaving tracks through the dirt.

"Where have you been, huh? Dean?" Sam shook his big brother tenderly. Dean's eyes met Sam's quickly, before sliding away. "S'okay baby, s'okay. No one is ever going to hurt you again. When you're ready, then we can talk" Sam soothed, as he petted Dean's hair.

"I'm going to help you get up and get you back to the motel room. I'm here Dean and you're here and we'll get through this together" Sam re-assured as he shifted Dean against the wall and made his way to a standing position. Reaching down, he wrapped his arms around Dean's chest and helped him to stand up. His legs were very unsteady and he clutched at Sam.

The Impala was parked less than a block away. Sam had left it there when he'd spotted what was happening in the alley. He decided he could carry Dean that far. Lifting his brother into his arms, he was taken aback with the amount of weight that Dean seemed to have lost. Dean was very compliant and none of his cocky attitude was evident, which caused Sam grave concern.

"We're almost there babe" Sam soothed as he felt Dean tremble against him. Dean showed no signs of recognition upon seeing the Impala. Sam slowly lowered Dean to a standing position and wedged him against himself and the car, as he fumbled to open the passenger door. Gently helping Dean into the car, Sam made sure he was settled, before running around and quickly climbing into the driver's side.

It was not a long ride to the motel and Sam was thankful that it was fairly deserted. He had an end room along the far side of the complex.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

After getting Dean out of the car and into the room, he helped him over to the bed and helped him sit down. Dean's head was lolling back and his eyes were sliding shut.

"I promise that you can sleep in just a little while, okay Dean. I need to check your injuries first" Sam explained as he noted for the first time that Dean was in his bare feet. "Christ, what happened to you?" Sam thought to himself.

The clothes that Dean had on looked about to disintegrate at any moment. Sam began with Dean's shirt. "Can you lift your arms for me babe?" Sam asked. Dean tried to focus on Sam's face and really did try to lift his arms, but it was clear that he was having difficulty with his right side. "Here, let me do it for you" Sam said slowly as he began to help Dean out of his shirt. "Fucking hell!" Sam breathed when he saw the injuries on Dean's body.

Dean's right shoulder and left side were horribly hurt with graphic injuries. It was clear that something had impaled him. Dean watched as Sam began to cry, before running gentle fingertips over the badly hurt areas. This man was upset, Dean didn't want that, this man shouldn't be upset, he was too nice. Reaching up with a tentative hand, he cupped one of Sam's cheeks. The man who called himself Sam, looked at him and Dean saw all the pain and hurt and upset in those eyes. "I'm so, so sorry Dean. I don't know what happened to you, but I'm going to make those bastards pay for what they've done to you" Sam sobbed as he leaned his forehead against his big brother's.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"I need you to lie down on the bed so I can take off your jeans and underwear" Sam explained as he helped Dean to lay back. Nervously undoing the zipper on Dean's jeans, he slid them off before then pulling off Dean's underwear.

Thank God that there did not appear to be any further injuries in the vulnerable area. It was clear that Dean had not bathed in a long time and Sam felt he would be much more comfortable after taking a shower.

"Dean, I'm going to bathe you and then I'm going to treat your wounds" Sam advised, as he sat on the bed beside Dean and ran his fingers through Dean's hair. "I'm going to go get the shower ready now and then I'll come back and get you. I'll just be in the next room, for just a sec" Sam explained as he stood and moved towards the bathroom.

It was the sound that Dean emitted that made Sam's heart stop. It was full of agony and fear and it just broke his heart. Turning quickly, Sam was met with a crying Dean, his arms extended and his eyes wild with fear.

"Hey... hey Dean" Sam soothed as he came back and pulled Dean against him. "It's alright buddy, I'm here, I'm here. How about you come with me and we'll get the shower ready together" Sam said gently as he helped Dean to his feet. Dean tucked himself into Sam's side and they slowly made their way into the bathroom.

Dean wouldn't let go, not even when Sam tried to get him to sit on the toilet lid. So, they ran the shower together. Helping Dean to climb in, Sam then stripped down quickly and came in behind him, pulling Dean back against him. "_Got you, not going to let you go_" he soothed.

Keeping one hand on Dean, Sam reached down for the shampoo. Squeezing out a small amount, he lightly began to soap up Dean's hair, taking his time and extra care. He felt Dean's body slowly begin to relax against his.

Running his shampoo covered hands over Dean's body, he soaped him up as best he could before manoeuvring Dean closer to the water stream and helping him to rinse off.

Sam bent down and came face to face with the horrific injury on Dean's left side. He leaned in and kissed it, trying in a small way, to make it at least a bit better.

Lathering up his hands again with some of the shampoo, Sam ran his hands over the matted pubic hair of Dean's groin area, up his backside and between his legs. He was able to work out the knots and wash away the build-up of urine and fecal matter, before finishing off with Dean's legs and feet.

Satisfied that the worst of it was done, Sam stood back up and smiled at Dean. "Ready to get out?" he asked. There was no response, just that wide-eyed, trusting look that Dean displayed now.

Helping Dean out of the tub, Sam kept his arm around him as he turned off the water and grabbed for a towel. Sitting down on the toilet seat, he placed Dean between the V of his legs, and tenderly began to dry him off, before standing up and drying himself as well.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Leading Dean back into the room, Sam pulled back the blankets and helped Dean to sit down. "I'm going to treat your wounds now" he said as he reached over for his duffle and felt the familiar box of medical supplies. Kneeling in front of his brother, Sam began his work.

This was going to be a temporary treatment at best. The wounds needed more in-depth care, but Sam was determined to make a good start on getting the healing to fully begin. Taking out the ointment, he generously lathered it over the worst of the injuries with delicate and loving hands. He could feel intense green eyes avidly observing his face. Smiling at his brother, Sam reached over and lightly skimmed his lips over Dean's.

After applying the bandages, Sam stood up and observed his work. A thought dawned on him. "I bet you must be starving. Let me get you something to eat" he advised as he made his way to the tiny kitchenette and washed his hands.

There wasn't a big selection to choose from. Food had been the last thing on Sam's mind these days, but he thought there might be a few things that would grab Dean's attention.

Opening up the jar of salsa and the bag of tortilla chips, Sam placed them in a bowl and brought them over to a still too quiet Dean.

"You love these. I know they're probably not the best thing for you right now, but I know you'd enjoy them the most" Sam said smiling.

Dean looked at Sam and then the food and then back at Sam. Sam was frowning, before the realization hit him. "I can help you Dean" he said quietly as he took some of the salsa and placed it on a chip for Dean to eat.

As Dean took his first bite, his eyes teared up and his lip trembled. He grabbed at the bottom of his mouth. "What? What's the matter, babe?" Sam asked in concern. "Let me see" Sam asked as he gently pried Dean's mouth open and looked in. His heart sank. The bottom part of his gums were filled with canker sores. The salsa and salty tortilla chips would have hurt like hell. "God, Dean, I'm so sorry, I didn't know" Sam exclaimed as he bent forward and kissed Dean's cheek. "I guess I'm not such a great brother after all, I didn't even think to check in your mouth or even to help you brush your teeth" Sam exclaimed mournfully. "We're going to have to get those canker sores down though, so that you can at least eat something. It's going to hurt, I know it will, but you're going to need to gargle with salt and water" Sam advised in dread at the thought of putting Dean through any more pain.

After it was done and Dean was seated back on the bed, Sam came and sat down beside him, this time with a bowl of cereal. He wanted to make sure Dean had something in his stomach before going to bed. Offering the bowl to Dean, Sam watched as the blank look wandered back onto Dean's face.

Taking the bowl back, Sam took the spoon and gathered some cereal and milk on it. Raising it to Dean's mouth, Dean looked at him shyly before opening his mouth and allowing Sam to feed him. "That good, Deanie? That doesn't hurt too much, huh?" Sam asked. Dean didn't say anything, just continued to observe Sam and open his mouth obediently as the spoon came up to it.

Dean ate more than half the bowl of cereal before calling it quits. He'd had enough.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Placing the bowl on the nightstand, Sam stood up and helped Dean to lie down. Walking over and turning on the dimmer light in the bathroom, Sam then turned out the main room lights. He could feel Dean's eyes watching him as he walked throughout the room.

Coming over to the bed he looked down at Dean who was partially illuminated by the dimmer light. He had his thumb in his mouth. Sam's heart shattered into a million pieces. His cocky older brother, the gifted hunter, must have suffered something so horrific that he felt the need to comfort himself in this manner.

Sam fought back broken tears as he climbed into bed and pulled Dean close to him. He couldn't get enough of feeling Dean under his hands. His Dean was alive and breathing and Sam vowed he would do everything within his power to help his big brother get better.

Dean turned in Sam's arms, so that he could face him. Still sucking on his thumb, his eyes eagerly searched Sam's face. Slowly removing his thumb from his mouth, Dean ran it lightly across Sam's jaw.

Sam reached up and began to trace the outline of Dean's lips with his fingers. "It's going to be okay Dean, it's going to be okay" he soothed.

Dean opened his mouth for Sam. Sam placed his thumb inside the wounded area that was Dean's mouth. Dean sighed before closing his eyes and sucking on Sam's thumb.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

**Screaming Peonies**

**Chapter Two - Affection**

Dean laid shivering next to Sam. He had to go to the bathroom so bad, but he was _so _very scared and didn't want to leave the security of the warm and caring body next to him.

He tried to sleep like the nice man holding him had said. He'd closed his eyes and he had tried so hard but he just couldn't. The man called Sam had finally fallen asleep and Dean was glad. He looked so tired and upset.

Dean was mortified when he felt the warm fluid against his skin. He'd waited too long.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam was pulled from the deep level of sleep up through to semi-wakefulness. It didn't register at first, but he felt something wet against his body.

Slightly disorientated upon waking, it took some time for Sam to remember the events that had recently transpired.

Opening his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming, his first sight was of Dean, the dimmer light illuminating the silent tears coursing down his face.

"Hey…hey…Dean, what's wrong, you're safe" Sam consoled as he brushed away the tears. Dean lowered his eyes before turning on his side away from Sam.

Feeling the wet sheet against his skin, it dawned on Sam as to what had happened.

"It's okay, Dean. Don't cry, it was an accident. These things happen" Sam explained tenderly.

Standing up, Sam came around to Dean's side of the bed and turned on the lamp. Dean pulled himself into a tight ball and closed his eyes.

Sam knelt down beside the bed leaning in close to his big brother and clasped Dean's tear stained face.

"I'm going to get you all cleaned up and then we'll switch beds and we'll let this one dry out and it'll all be fine" Sam re-assured.

"Let me grab a facecloth and towel" Sam explained as he kissed Dean's forehead before standing up and moving quickly to get what he needed.

As he gathered his supplies, Sam reflected on the situation. It didn't appear that Dean had reverted back to being a child. In fact, Sam was sure that this wasn't the case. In many ways, if it had been, it would have been much easier to deal with. What Sam had been given back was a broken and very lost big brother, unsure of his abilities and scared to death.

Dean was in the same position when Sam returned.

Bending over, Sam lightly tugged Dean into a sitting position before helping him to stand. Sam then took a seat on the other bed and maneuvered Dean to stand between his legs.

Dean turned and looked mournfully at the soiled bedding. Sam reached up and tenderly pulled Dean's face away from the view.

"I love you Dean" Sam breathed, as he set about cleaning up _his _guy.

Slowly running the cloth up Dean's thighs and surrounding groin area, many thoughts were competing in Sam's mind. It was all so heart wrenching and Sam vowed to take the best care, in every way that was needed, of the man he loved above all others.

Drying Dean off, Sam then stood up and smiled down at Dean. "I've missed you _so _much and I'm so glad you're back" Sam exhaled before pulling Dean against him.

"You don't have to be scared Dean. I'm never going to let you go and I'll always be here to protect you. Always" Sam confirmed.

Holding Dean by the waist, Sam turned and lowered the bedding. Helping Dean in, Sam then pulled up the covers and tucked him in.

Sam left the light on as he climbed in on the other side. Positioning himself against the headboard, Sam placed a pillow on his lap. Dean instinctively moved closer and placed one of his hands on the pillow. Running one hand through Dean's soft hair, Sam placed his other hand over Dean's and squeezed gently.

They stayed that way for a long time, two halves of one soul, each lost in their own thoughts.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Slowly, Dean settled down into a troubled sleep.

Sam's mind was working frantically; he had Dean's duffel out in the Impala. He'd held on to everything, but the Dean that had come back to him, had injuries, had lost weight and was going to need some new clothes.

There was no way that they'd be leaving here anytime soon. Dean was so scared and there was no way that Sam was going to add any additional stress.

Mentally running down the food times in the kitchenette, Sam knew he was going to have to make a provision run. He recalled seeing one of those twenty-four hour places that sold everything, a few miles away.

He wanted to pick up some flannel bedding to wrap Dean in. The sheets and blankets were scratchy and rough and although it didn't matter before, it sure did now that Dean was here.

Mentally going over his list of needed items, Sam figured he'd be gone no more than an hour at the most.

Looking down at his sleeping brother, Sam made his decision. Slowly sliding out of bed, Sam dressed quietly and left the room. Praying to God that the Impala didn't wake up Dean, Sam started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

At this early hour there was virtually no traffic and even better Sam discovered, almost no customers in the store.

Moving quickly up and down the aisles, Sam tossed his purchases into the wagon and made his way to the check-out. Unloading the cart, Sam paused. Sitting on one of the shelves, was a little stuffed dog, very much like the one Dean had bought him all those years ago.

The little dog rode shot-gun all the way back to the motel.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Loaded down with bags and the little dog, Sam fumbled with the room key initially. Opening the door, he reached down for the bags and placed them on the motel room floor.

Glancing up and expecting to see a sleeping Dean, Sam's heart stopped as he scanned the room. Dean wasn't in bed, he wasn't in the room. Sam ran to the bathroom and there was no Dean.

"Dean! Dean! Where are you?" Sam cried. Preparing to begin searching outside, Sam's eyes caught a glimpse of two bare feet under the bed.

"Oh God" Sam thought to himself, blinking back tears of sadness. He'd done the one thing to Dean that he promised he'd never do – he left him alone.

Grabbing the dog, Sam came over to the bed and laid down flat on his stomach between the two beds.

Dean's eyes were wild with fear and panic. He had his index finger in his mouth. There was no way Sam could get under the bed. He didn't know how Dean had done it.

"Please Dean…please come out" Sam begged as he reached out his hand. Dean moved back further. Sam wondered how the human heart could survive such trauma, for he felt sure his was breaking.

"Dean, please c'mon out. No one is going to hurt you. I'm so very sorry I left you alone. I know it doesn't matter now, but I went to the store to get you some popsicles and other food that would be easy for you to eat. Please forgive me Deanie, I know you're scared, but I'm here now" Sam whispered. Dean stayed where he was.

Deciding on a different tactic, Sam retrieved the little dog from the bed.

"Look who I found when I was out" Sam put the little stuffed dog in front of him. "Remember Dean, when I was little you bought me one just like him and I called him Monroe? " Sam whispered.

Dean's eyes moved to the little dog. Sam was positive he saw a flicker of recognition in Dean's eyes.

Pulling his finger out of his mouth, Dean reached out a slow and tentative hand towards the little dog, touching its fur, before pulling his hand back.

"Do you like him Dean? He likes you and I love you Dean, I love you _so _much. Do you think you can come out now? I can't fit any further under the bed" Sam explained.

"Please" Sam whispered.

Dean wiggled his way back out from under the bed and into Sam's strong and waiting arms.

"I'm so sorry" Sam breathed into Dean's hair, feeling his big brother's shaking form against his own and knowing he was the one who had caused it.

Pulling back slightly to take a look at Dean, Sam noted that the dust from under the bed had gathered on Dean, in addition to some newly acquired carpet burns. Brushing lightly at the dust, Sam worked at it until he got it all off.

Tangling their fingers together, Sam took Dean with him to get the grocery bags and then into the little kitchenette.

"I'm just going to let go while I unpack the bags" Sam explained with a weak smile.

Placing the articles of clothing, bedding and medical supplies to one side, Sam then unpacked the remaining bags.

The ice cream had turned pretty much to liquid. The popsicles were in better shape. Putting the popsicles in the freezer, Sam then got down a bowl and a spoon. Pouring some of the ice cream into the bowl, Sam placed the remainder in the freezer.

He then undid the wrapping on the flannel sheet, opened the cotton swabs and undid the jar of Vaseline, all under Dean's watchful gaze. "I'm just going to put these things on the nightstand" Sam advised as he carried everything over.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Kicking off his shoes and climbing onto the bed, Sam unfolded the flannel sheet and placed it over himself. "C'mere Dean" Sam asked. Dean did as he was asked and Sam felt his heart drop even lower. There was no sassy retort or cocky grin or sly look. _His _Dean was clearly badly hurt.

Spreading his legs, Sam motioned for Dean to sit between them. Dean climbed onto the bed and leaned back against Sam. Monroe the second, was sitting on the extra pillow.

Taking the Vaseline and a cotton swab Sam lightly ran it over each of the carpet burns that were visible. "Can you bend your left knee for me?" Sam asked. Dean bent it and Sam ran the cotton swab over the small burn, before taking the sheet and wrapping Dean up in it. "I bet that feels better" Sam murmured against Dean's ear.

"Ready for some ice cream soup?" Sam asked with a light chuckle. Dean tilted his head and nodded solemnly at Sam. It wasn't a lot, but at least Dean had responded.

Bending his knees, Sam reached for the bowl and spoon as Dean adjusted himself in the crook of Sam's arm.

Taking extra care to avoid the injured area of Dean's mouth, Sam fed his brother the ice cream soup in slow intervals and between fluttering kisses.

After Dean was finished, Sam placed the empty bowl and spoon back on the nightstand. Taking the tip of the sheet Sam gently patted the small amounts of leftover ice cream that had pooled on Dean's lips, before re-dipping a fresh cotton swab with Vaseline. Running it over Dean's gums and lips, Sam felt himself being watched by a very serious pair of green eyes. "Love you Dean" Sam said and smiled.

Dropping the swab on the floor, Sam locked his arms tighter around Dean, snuggling them together. Dean had his thumb in his mouth again and was looking up at him through half-closed eyes.

Taking Monroe from the pillow, Sam reached out and tickled Dean's nose with it.

To be continued.

Author's Note: Thank you so much for your support of this story. I sincerely appreciate it.


	3. Touches

**Author's Note:** A sincere and heartfelt thank you to the supporters of this story. It truly means a lot.

**Chapter Three – Touches**

Sam's thoughts were serious and deep. He loved Dean more than life itself and he vowed he was going to take care of him no matter what it took.

Seeing his big brother so hurt and broken had initially almost destroyed Sam. Having no set plan except to tend to Dean's needs with all the love and compassion he had, Sam felt he was doing things the right way.

Dean clearly needed all the loving, touching and soft words that Sam had to offer. Sam felt he was walking a fine line. In many ways, Dean was like a little boy, while in every other equal way, he was still his big brother, his lover, the man who owned his heart.

Sam was responding directly from his broken heart to his broken big brother. He was ready for the challenge.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam was watching Dean and the look of discomfort that was taking up residence on his face. Dean gave a low grunt and clutched at his stomach. "Dean, what is it? You can tell me" Sam said gently. Dean looked at him and then at the bathroom. Sam got it. "Oh, okay, I understand" Sam said as he stood up and tugged Dean gently to his feet.

It was still unclear what Dean remembered and what he didn't. Sam decided to review the basics, explaining about cleansing, flushing the toilet and hand-washing after. Dean looked at him gratefully.

"I'll be right here, Dean" Sam motioned to the doorway. "Just outside the door. I won't be going anywhere" Sam confirmed.

Dean looked at him with trusting eyes. Sam closed the bathroom door partially and sat down on the floor to wait. "I love you, Dean" he called out a few times.

After Dean was finished and Sam heard the toilet flush and the tap water running he stood up. Reaching for the door to open it further, he was beat to it by a nervous Dean. Sam pulled him into a hug. "You're okay" he soothed. "You did so good!" Sam congratulated him.

Deciding that now might be a good time to give Dean a shower before he set to work on his injuries, Sam whispered into Dean's ear. "Want to take a shower with your baby brother?" Sam smiled when he felt Dean nod his agreement.

Carefully removing the bandages, Sam then took Dean with him while he ran the shower and then undressed. He couldn't help but notice Dean's gaze scanning the length of his body, not in an overt way, but certainly a curious one.

Helping Dean into the shower first, Sam came in and stood behind him. The warm water ran over both boys, pelting their skin. Sam turned Dean to face him before reaching down and grabbing the shaving cream tin.

"I bet you'll feel better after you've had a shave" Sam said as he pumped a liberal amount onto his palm and replaced the tin on the ledge.

Rubbing his hands together, he then applied the cream over Dean's face. "Ready?" Sam asked. Dean nodded. Sam tilted Dean's head back and took the razor. With firm and even strokes he shaved his big brother.

Shielding his hand over Dean's eyes a short time later, Sam rinsed off Dean's face. Freckles and freckles and more freckles greeted him. They'd come out of hiding. "Look at your freckles" Sam murmured as he bent down and applied tingly kisses over Dean's upturned face.

After ensuring that every freckle was adequately kissed, Sam set about washing Dean. Dean appeared to be enjoying the rubbing and swayed slightly under Sam's ministrations. Sam finished off by washing Dean's hair, before quickly cleaning himself up.

"After we're finished with this, I want to treat your wounds" Sam said as he toweled Dean off first, then himself. After re-dressing himself, but not Dean, Sam took Dean's hand and led him to the bed.

"Before we start, I was thinking that it might be a good idea to have something in your stomach, to help with the pain medication. I bought some vanilla yogurt that I bet will go down easy and won't hurt your mouth" Sam advised. "I'm just going to get it and the medical supplies" Sam said, brushing the hair away from Dean's forehead.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean pulled a face as he swallowed, much to Sam's amusement. "You don't like it?" Sam questioned. Dean adamantly shook his head no. "How about just a few more spoonfuls?" Sam asked. Dean paused and looked skeptically at Sam before opening his mouth. Good to his word, Sam got in three more spoonfuls before finally placing the container and spoon on the nightstand.

"This is going to hurt and I'm so, so sorry for that. I don't want to cause you any extra pain, but these wounds really need some deep cleaning" Sam explained honestly.

"Can you take these two pain pills for me? They're going to help, babe" Sam advised as he popped the two pills into Dean's open mouth and then helped him drink some water.

"I think it may be easier if you lay down" Sam said as he helped Dean to lie straight out on the bed. Placing a warm hand on Dean's cheek and Monroe on his chest, Sam nodded in encouragement as Dean adjusted himself on the bed.

Taking a deep breath, Sam dipped the tweezers in alcohol and then started working on Dean's injured shoulder. It was horrible and Sam felt his stomach curdling, as he began to remove tiny slivers of metal, through an assortment of skin layers. Due to the extent of the injuries, some of the area had begun to scab over, while others were draining a yellowish/green pus. Sam prayed that an all out infection would not set in. It was vile and tedious work and it was hurting Dean dreadfully.

Dean's face grew hauntingly pale, his eyes brimmed with tears and he clutched Monroe in a tight grip. Each prod of the tweezers brought a fresh wave of intense pain. The cleansing and removal of damaged skin and metal shards needed to be done, but it didn't make it any easier to bear.

Dean passed out from the overwhelming pain. His eyes rolled back in his head and he was out cold. Sam was grateful. He still had some deep probing to finish and then had to work on Dean's side. Any relief Dean could get from the pain Sam was causing him, was a blessing.

Working quickly and efficiently, Sam moved from shoulder to side and finally pulled out the last of the shards with an exhausted sigh. Applying pressure to stem the flow of blood, Sam then applied the ointment and dressed the two injured areas.

Rinsing his fingertips with alcohol, he then gently pried back Dean's lips to get a good look inside his mouth. The sores were shrinking, but were still incredibly painful looking.

Gathering all the instruments and soiled cloths, Sam cleaned the instruments in the bathroom and re-inserted them into the first aid kit. Taking the soiled cloths, along with his stained top, Sam placed them in a plastic bag for follow-up later on.

Washing his hands and donning a fresh flannel shirt, Sam prepared some soup to have ready for when Dean woke up. Turning the heat to low, Sam made himself a sandwich and poured himself a glass of milk and sat down. His hands were shaking, no doubt a case of nerves following what he'd just been through.

He opened one of the packages that was on the table and pulled out a new white t-shirt to dress Dean in.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Getting up to put his plate and cup in the sink, he heard the first painful whimper escape from Dean's lips.

Padding over to the bed with the new t-shirt in hand, Sam sat down on the edge of the bed and placed one of his hands lightly on Dean's chest.

Dean's eyes flew open and fell on Sam. Grimacing, he tried to sit up. Sam held him down. "Remember Dean, you need to take things really slow. I'm here to help" Sam murmured as he slowly helped Dean to sit up.

Sam held up the fresh t-shirt. "Look at this, all clean and new" Sam declared. Moving closer to help Dean put it on, Sam was surprised when Dean shook his head no.

"You don't like it?" Sam asked in confusion. Dean shook his head no again. "Did you want to wear something else?" Sam asked and this time Dean nodded yes.

"Okay, let me go see what I can grab" Sam advised as he went to stand up. Dean reached out and stopped him.

Looking shyly at Sam, Dean tugged at Sam's shirt sleeve. "Dean, I don't understand" Sam said. Dean lightly tugged again. Sam looked down at Dean's hand and then back up.

"Gotcha" Sam said and smiled lovingly at his big brother. Dean watched as Sam undid his flannel shirt and removed it.

With infinite care, Sam dressed Dean in it. Before doing up the last of the buttons, Sam tenderly pulled the shirt up to cover Dean's face. "_Peek_" he laughed lightly, before pulling it back down. Sam's eyes scanned Dean's features, and there it was, it wasn't huge or bright, but it meant the world to Sam and symbolized so much.

A meek smile was gracing Dean's face and it was directed at Sam.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"I made some soup. Would you like some now?" Sam asked. Dean indicated that he did not want any. Sam got up, turned off the light, turned off the stove and finally climbed into bed beside Dean. Having two significant injuries which had just been freshly treated, on both sides of his body, made it more difficult to hold Dean without accidentally hurting him.

Sam was debating on the best way to handle this, when Dean made the decision for him. Frowning in pain, but determined nonetheless, Dean rolled himself against Sam and promptly inserted his index finger into his own mouth.

Looking down fondly at his brother, Sam tenderly removed Dean's finger from his mouth and kissed it. "I love you, Dean" he whispered before slowing winding his arms around Dean. "I'm sorry I hurt you" he breathed against Dean's temple. "I know it really hurt, but I promise you, the worst is done now" Sam soothed.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean snuggled in closely against Sam and sighed. Sam was petting his hair and telling him how much he loved him. Dean never wanted it to end. Sam's voice eventually began to slur as he dipped into sleep. Dean watched Sam's eyes flutter and finally close. Dean didn't move. The room was illuminated slightly through a crack in the curtain, a strange combination of one of the motel's parking lot lights and the moon, combining together.

"Just keep holding me, please don't let me go" Dean thought wildly as Sam rolled over onto his back, one arm flung over his head, inadvertently dislodging Dean.

Pushing himself closer to Sam's side, Dean burrowed his face against Sam's armpit. Dean loved Sam's scent and derived great comfort from it. The hairs tickled Dean's face and nose, causing him to sneeze and Sam to wake-up.

Dean pretended to be asleep. "Dean, you okay?" Sam whispered. "Dean?" Sam tried again. Dean kept his eyes closed. He wanted Sam to get the sleep he so badly needed and if Sam knew he was awake, this wouldn't happen.

Carefully turning on his side and sliding down the bed so that he could be face-to-face with Dean, Sam re-adjusted the covers over the both of them.

Taking Dean's hands in his own, he kissed them before closing his own eyes and falling off to sleep again.

Dean _never_ wanted to leave the feeling of security that Sam provided.

To be continued.


	4. Steps

**Screaming Peonies**

**Chapter Four - Steps**

"You can do it! No, I can't! Yes you can!" the monologue in Dean's head kept on.

He was lying on his side with his arms wrapped around a sleeping Sam's bicep. Reaching over, he lightly kissed Sam's arm before rolling over and getting shakily to his feet.

Dean moved as quickly as he could. He used the bathroom, flushed and washed his hands just like Sam had shown him.

He moved swiftly back to the bed and curled up against a now awake Sam. Dean didn't realize he was awake at first until Sam gently cupped the side of his face and got Dean to look at him. "Way to go, Dean. That was a huge step" Sam congratulated a pleased Dean, whose face was turning slightly pink. Sam took this as a good sign and decided some gentle teasing was called for.

"Hey…you're blushing. You know you're really cute when you blush" Sam teased lightly. Dean reached up and put a finger on Sam's lips, before shaking his head no. Taking his other hand, Dean patted his chest and shook his head no again.

Sam rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. "Oh yes you are. You're my big brother, the man I'm in love with and you are really cute" Sam declared earnestly.

Dean watched him. "You are, you are, you are" Sam whispered as bent over Dean and began applying fluttering kisses to Dean's flushed face. Settling back down, Sam reached behind Dean and tenderly rubbed his back.

In some ways, it felt so much like a normal morning. Sam was holding Dean and Dean was snuggled against him and all the love and shared warmth were being enjoyed together.

Sam though was sporting some serious morning wood, making his jeans feel very uncomfortable. He'd gotten into bed last night without a shirt but had left his jeans on. He was sort of regretting that now. He was also upset with himself too. Here was Dean, injured and unwell, in his arms and his libido decides to kick in. It was such a normal human reaction to lying close and being with the man he loved above all others. But hell, the timing sucked. He was doing his best to try and not think about it in the hopes that his hard-on would disappear rapidly.

Dean, on the other hand, was highly curious. He felt the additional bulge against his thigh and put his hand under the covers to feel what it was. He stroked at the swell in Sam's jeans and moved his hand away when he felt it move. Sam moaned deeply and shifted closer to Dean. Sam did everything he could think of not to come right there and then. Dean was watching him and it was clear that he didn't know what to make of what was happening.

This embarrassing moment at least proved to Sam that his brother may not be recalling his knowledge about lovemaking and human bodies. If this was the case, then when the time came, it would be up to Sam to teach Dean all about the joys of shared lovemaking, just like his big brother had done for him when it was Sam's first time.

Dean was still watching him with a puzzled look on his face. He went to reach for Sam again, but Sam placed a light restraining hand on Dean's forearm and smiled weakly.

"I'm going to have to remember to rub Sam down there again. He likes that" Dean thought to himself before moving his head and placing his face against Sam's chest.

They laid curled up together for a long time before Sam suggested something to eat.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"You enjoying your food?" Sam asked as he fed Dean another forkful of eggs. Dean nodded. "When we were little, Dad use to call the toast he'd cut up into strips – Soldiers. Do you remember that?" Sam asked somewhat hopefully. Dean shook his head no. "Well that's okay, cause you will. You'll remember when the time is right" Sam promised as he broke off a small piece of the buttered toast for Dean.

After their late breakfast, Sam cleaned up the dishes and placed them in the sink to soak. Coming over to Dean, he reached down and rubbed Dean's stomach. "Nice and full, just like mine" Sam laughed lightly and pulled Dean carefully up and into his arms.

"How about we go brush our teeth and then I'd like to have a look in your mouth" Sam said as they made their way to the bathroom. After face washing and teeth brushing, Sam pulled out the Vaseline and Q-tip and looked in Dean's mouth. "Oh, it's coming along really good" he advised as he ran the Vaseline and cotton over Dean's gums and lips. "Love you" Sam said. "Do you love me too?" he asked. Dean leaned his head sideways and nodded. Sam fell even more in love with his big brother at that moment.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam had his laptop on the coffee table and himself on the small couch. He was clicking through pages trying to locate anything that would assist him in helping Dean.

Dean had been lying on the bed with Monroe, watching Sam. He eventually got up and came and stood beside Sam. He was running his index finger over his lips, shifting the Vaseline down to his chin. Smiling gently, he moved in front of Sam and seated himself on the floor between Sam's legs.

"Your hair smells so good" Sam murmured as he buried his nose in Dean's locks. "Anything special you want to look at?" Sam asked. Dean shook his head no. Sam positioned his arms on either side of Dean and began to type in some random urls that contained cartoons. Knowing that Dean always loved the cheesier ones, Sam pulled up a few of the best selections. Dean watched the screen for a while before his attention began to wane. He was getting tired.

Dean wrapped both his arms around Sam's leg and leaned his head against Sam's knee. Sam took this as his cue and turned off the computer. "I think it's time that all little demon hunters took a nap" he said softly against Dean's ear.

Dean leaned back and turned his face up to Sam. "L-L-Love you" Dean whispered in such a low voice that Sam wasn't sure he had heard it at all, but he knew better. Dean had just told him he loved him. "Oh and I love you too, with all my heart" Sam answered, clasping Dean's face between his hands. "Kiss Sammy" Dean beamed as he pursed his lips. "Kiss Dean" Sam responded as he bent forward and shared an up-side-down kiss with his brother.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"What a massive breakthrough" Sam thought to himself. Time and love would get them through this tragedy and Dean back to himself, Sam was now sure of it.

Before Sam had found Dean, he had been spending so much time searching for his brother that he had been hesitant to commit to taking an old rundown house that a fellow hunter had offered him. The hunter had pointed out though that it would save Sam a hell of a lot of money because the man did not want anything in return, just someone to keep an eye on the place while he was gone. From what he told Sam, he'd be gone for quite a while.

Like everyone in the hunting community who knew the story of the two brothers, this hunter felt it would be best for Sam to take a break, even for a short while in his search for Dean.

As things now stood, this might be the ideal place for Dean to become better. Sam needed to talk to Dean about this. But first, he was really going to try and get Dean outside for even a few minutes.

Dean was just waking up from his nap and watched as Sam rooted around in a bag on the floor of the closet.

"Hey, you're awake" Sam said in delight as he walked over to Dean with some clothing and Dean's extra pair of shoes. "I thought it might be fun to go outside for a little bit today" Sam said nonchalantly. Placing the articles on the bed, Sam leaned down and ran his hands through Dean's hair. "What do you say? Want to go grab some of those rays before the rain starts again?" Sam asked.

This was supposed to be a fun occasion. Sam sincerely thought that Dean would enjoy a small walk around the back of the motel. Right now, they were the only ones staying at the far end of the place and the chances of meeting anyone were virtually none.

From the look of pure panic on Dean's face though, it was a hugely traumatic issue. Looking at the terror escalating across his big brother's face shot a pain straight to Sam's heart.

Sam squatted down beside the bed. "No one is going to hurt you, babe. I'll be right there with you. I won't let anything happen to you" Sam promised as he stood up and reached for a fresh pair of underwear which he slowly began to place on Dean. "It'll just be you and me, k'ay. I'll hold your hand" Sam continued, as he then helped Dean into a pair of jeans and tenderly helped him to a standing position so he could finish dressing him.

Dean had the cuff of Sam's shirt that he was wearing in his mouth. He was biting down on the fabric and looking at Sam. After putting on Dean's socks and shoes for him, Sam kissed his cheek. "I got you, baby" he whispered.

Sam hugged a trembling Dean, holding him close. Leaning back somewhat Sam looked at Dean and didn't know whether he should go through with this or not. Deciding to at least give it a try, Sam wrapped his arm securely around Dean's waist and walked him very slowly to the door.

As Sam undid the deadbolt and turned the knob, Dean pushed out of his arm and hid behind him. Sam's heart officially cracked and shattered. He could feel Dean tight against him, his face pressed into his back and he was crying.

_Nothing was worth this._

Sam turned and bent his face so he was even with Dean's. "I thought you might like to do this. I never meant to scare you. I'm so sorry, Dean. I'm so sorry" Sam gasped as he locked his arms around Dean.

During this time, the door swung open slowly by itself, revealing not a whole hell of a lot in terms of a view. There was cement, some junked out furniture and a sorry looking group of assorted flowers.

By shifting slightly so he could accommodate Dean better in his arms, it allowed Dean a clear view of the outside. He let out a guttural moan and collapsed in Sam's arms. "DEAN!" Sam yelled as Dean fell out of his arms and dropped to the floor. Sam moved quickly and was at least able to cushion Dean's head from the hard floor.

Sam took in the view before him and could not see what would have triggered Dean's violent reaction. Slamming the door shut, Sam gritted his teeth, picked up Dean and carried him to the bed.

Placing him gently on the mattress Sam sat down beside his brother and gently stroked his face. "Dear God in heaven Dean, what scared you so badly?" Sam asked. Sam couldn't be sure what it was that had scared Dean so badly, but one thing was for sure, he was getting him out of there.

Standing up and retrieving his cell phone, Sam called the hunter and told him he'd take the place. The old man said he'd leave the key in the cracked stair board and Sam was free to come by any time. He told Sam he was hitting the road within a few hours. The place was ready, including a fully stocked freezer and fridge. "Hate like hell to see all that food go to waste, I'm glad you'll be able to use it" the hunter said before he hung up.

Watching as Dean slowly began to rouse he moved to his side and sat down beside him. Dean looked at Sam and then his eyes widened and he struggled to sit up. He wasn't able to make it in time and he threw up, all over himself, some of Sam and the bedding.

Holding Dean's forehead, Sam rubbed his back until it was all over. Dean kept his head down and wouldn't look at Sam.

"Please look at me, Dean. These things happen. We'll get you all cleaned up and you'll feel a lot better" Sam soothed as he bent down beside the bed and looked up at Dean. "You're going to be okay" Sam murmured.

Slowly sitting Dean up, Sam sat beside him. Tenderly undressing Dean, Sam was taking his time undoing the buttons on his shirt and helping him out of it. The bandages weren't overly stained and for this Sam was grateful. He undid Dean's shoes and then pulled off his soiled jeans and underwear. Sam pulled off his own clothing and tossed everything into the center of the bed. Grabbing the ends of the sheet and taking off the pillow covers, Sam balled the whole thing together. The motel had an on-site quickie wash and he'd run these and the sheets from before through the washer before they left.

Dean still had his head down and was sucking furiously on his thumb. Taking Dean by the hand he led him to the washroom, placed a towel on the closed lid of the toilet and sat Dean down.

Gently forcing Dean to drink some water, Sam then ran a facecloth under warm water and taking a towel from the rack, Sam knelt down in front of Dean.

"_I love you so much_" Sam said softly as he gently wiped Dean clean. Moving the cloth over Dean's stomach, Sam felt warm tears falling on his hand. He finished cleaning Dean up, then himself. Pitching the used articles in the tub, Sam leaned back against the bathtub and pulled a crying Dean off the seat and into his arms.

Cradling Dean into the crook of his arm, Sam checked him over to make sure none of his injuries had started to bleed. There was no seepage.

Looking down at Dean, Sam gently tried to pry his thumb out of his mouth. Dean wouldn't let go. Sam held his injured brother for a long time on the stained floor of a crappy motel room and wondered how it had all gotten to this point.

"I need to get you away from here, buddy. We're going to be leaving here" Sam told Dean softly. Feeling Dean tense in his arms, Sam gave him a gentle shake. "Where we're going it'll just be you and me. It's an old house and kind of rundown, but hey, we've stayed in worse" Sam kept on. "We're going to be safe there Dean and we're going to get you all better. No one will ever hurt you again" Sam cried softly.

To be continued.

**Author's Note: **Thank you so much everyone for your wonderful reviews, alert listings, favoured listings and pm's, in relation to this story. They are sincerely appreciated and welcomed. :)


	5. Refuge

**Chapter Five - Refuge**

Following the very upsetting episode of earlier in the day, Sam made an extremely debatable ethical decision when he secretly dissolved two sleeping pills into a glass of water and urged Dean to drink it.

Dean had fought closing his eyes as Sam held him tight on the sheet less mattress, mentally willing Dean to let go and let sleep claim him.

Eventually Dean's breathing deepened and Sam heard soft snoring. Tenderly laying Dean down on the bed, Sam slipped out the other side, covered Dean with the couch slipcover and quickly got dressed. He had a lot to accomplish while Dean was out.

Sam gathered all the soiled bedding and clothing and ran down to the wash n' dry, threw the bundles in, added the soap, coined the machine and ran back to the room. Dean was still asleep. Sam hoped he'd stay out for at least the next couple of hours.

Starting in the bathroom and working his way efficiently from there through each room, Sam gathered all their belongings and packed them up. He took the loads out to the Impala and packed them in the trunk.

Running back to check on the washing, he sorted the wet garments right then and there. He threw the sheets and towels in the dryer and took his and Dean's wet clothes with him.

Dean had switched to his other side and was clasping Monroe, but he was still asleep when Sam came back.

Sam piled the wet clothes on the kitchen table, pulled out two garbage bags and placed the wet clothing in one and the food he thought they should take in the other, and ran both bags out to the car.

Returning to the room, catching his breath and taking a last walk around to ensure he had retrieved everything, Sam then wrote a note for the motel staff, telling them where the bedding and towels were and leaving twenty dollars to cover the cost of the couch covering he was taking with them, so Dean would be warm in the Impala.

Sam picked up the pair of jeans, underwear and flannel shirt he'd kept out for Dean to wear. He stood for a moment and gazed down at his big brother, a look full of love for the man before him.

Ever so gently, turning Dean on his back, Sam got the underwear on Dean and then curled up the legs of the jeans as he placed them on Dean. He got them to mid-thigh before stopping. He stood up and placed one arm under Dean's lower back, before raising his brother up and tugging the jeans over Dean's hips.

Dean opened his eyes momentarily. "S'okay baby, s'okay. I'm just trying to get some clothes on you, to keep you warm" Sam said, not technically lying, but stretching the truth just a bit.

Pulling Dean slowly into a sitting position, Sam struggled to get the shirt on Dean. Dean was like a dead weight and his body kept lolling in Sam's hands. Sam didn't bother doing up the buttons as he laid Dean back down.

Opening the motel room door for the final time, Sam then opened the back door of the Impala. He returned to the motel room, placed Monroe on top of Dean and wrapped them both up in the cover.

Bending low, he lifted Dean into his arms, staggered and almost dropped him, before re-aligning his body with the extra weight.

It was a pure bitch trying to get Dean in the backseat. Sam ended up having to sit Dean sideways on the backseat, get in the front passenger seat and slide Dean up the seat, that way. How Dean stayed asleep was a miracle in and by itself.

Sam got out of the car and closed both doors as silently as possible before returning for the last time to close the motel room door.

Climbing into the driver's seat, Sam let out a sigh as he turned on the ignition. Swiveling in his seat, he laid a hand on Dean, hoping his touch would offset the noise of the engine. Dean stayed asleep.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam decided to push his luck and stop off at the twenty-four hour store to get the items he'd listed earlier.

Pulling into the semi-deserted parking lot, Sam chose a secluded area and parked. He made sure Dean was still asleep and the car doors were locked as he ran to the store.

Grabbing a cart, Sam moved swiftly up and down the aisles and through the check-out line. Evidently, he wasn't quick enough. As he ran back to the car, he spotted an individual leaning against it, one of her hands spread across the metal of the Impala.

Coming up to her quickly, Sam was about to yell out and ask her what she was doing, but something stopped him. There was a peaceful existence to this age undetermined, plus sized woman, with multi-coloured hair and a radiant smile.

"Hello, Sam. I'm here in peace and no harm will come to either you or Dean through me" she said by way of introduction as she reached out her hand and clasped Sam's in greeting.

Her touch was warm and soothing. "How do you know who we are?" Sam asked in confusion. "I felt Dean reaching out, Sam. His pain and fear and his wonderful sense of hope found me and so I went searching for the two of you. I'm here now to explain some issues I know you've been concerned about" she explained warmly.

"Could I ask what your name is?" Sam said, eliciting a light laugh from the woman. "One guess" she laughed again, as she touched her hair. "Rainbow?" Sam ventured. "Right in one" Rainbow smiled at him before peering inside the car at a sleeping Dean.

"Sam, the one thing that is absolutely certain above all else, is that Dean loves you with all of his being. You are and always have been everything to him. That has not changed. At times, he does remember that you are brothers, but not always. He does know however, that he is safe in your love, no matter what. I recognize this situation is exceedingly hard and the stuff nightmares are made of" Rainbow sympathized.

"Dean is working his way through this and processing it as best as he is able. I think the best way to look at it right now, is to picture an all you can eat buffet. Dean's mind is selecting items and he's able to back them up with reasoning, but at other times, when he goes to select something, his mind is lost and he's making selections without always understanding why" Rainbow explained.

"He's very much a little boy in some regards, but he's equally a man in every other. You're walking a very fine line and doing it brilliantly I might add. I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to handle this situation with as much love and compassion and understanding than you are.

The way you're dealing with this issue is truly the best way. You're letting Dean be who he needs to be right at this moment, which is assisting in his healing" Rainbow finished before taking a deep breath and carrying on.

"Now Sam, I know the issue of lovemaking with Dean is bothering you" Rainbow said delicately. Sam felt his cheeks grow flush and shifted his eyes away.

"It's a sensitive topic and I understand this, Sam, but you need to hear what I have to say. I can see you're worried because you don't want to hurt Dean in his present state.

Here me well. When the time is right, you will know and it will be wonderful and loving and you won't hurt Dean. This I can promise you, Sam. Dean wants this too, he's aware of it and he does comprehend the feelings he's experiencing. He's just not sure how to process them yet. You need to keep showing him all the affection that you can and not be worried about the rest. Dean is starved for human touch. You just keep doing what you're doing.

However, and here is my caution to you, it will be like the first time all over again for Dean when it does happen. For although Dean's body is reacting the way it should, his mind and heart are very delicate and fragile and you'll need to take extra special care when it happens. Any questions?" Rainbow asked gently.

"Umm…nothing at the moment" Sam responded, finally looking into her eyes. "Thanks Rainbow for your help and understanding" Sam said with genuine appreciation.

Rainbow patted his arm and smiled. "Dean needs all the rest and sleep he can get. Don't worry if you think he's getting too much, it's all part of the healing process and in this case, more is better. There's one more thing you should know, Dean really wants a red ball." Sam looked puzzled. "Dean wants to play ball with you, Sam. He's feeling pretty inadequate about many things, but he's got it into his mind, that this would be something he could do. Why don't you run back into the store and pick one up and surprise your brother with it. I'll wait here" Rainbow suggested. Sam smiled and ran back into the store, returning a short time later with a round red object in a plastic bag.

"I'll be seeing you and Dean too. I'll know where to find you. Until then, hold tight to my words and take good care of yourself and Dean. Bye for now, sweetheart" Rainbow said warmly as she reached up and kissed Sam's cheek. Sam closed his eyes for mere seconds, but it was enough time for Rainbow to have disappeared.

"Thanks, Rainbow" he whispered into the still night air.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSN

After placing everything in the trunk, Sam got in the car, smiled back at a sleeping Dean and pulled out onto the highway. It seemed to take longer to get to Jackson's place, as twilight began to coat the night sky. Sam finally saw the turnoff and swung the car down the unpaved bumpy road to their new place.

Pulling up close to the house, Sam turned off the car, got out and stretched, trying to work out the kinks and tension.

Walking over to the stairs, Sam was pleased to find the key where it was agreed to be left. Unlocking and opening the door, Sam was in for a pleasant surprise. For some reason, he'd had it in his mind, that the place was rundown. He'd been to see it briefly before and obviously hadn't been paying too much attention.

The place was basic, the furniture and rugs threadbare, but it was clean and neat and looked like a piece of Heaven to Sam.

Walking around, he took a cursory view of the layout before returning to the Impala and unloading and bringing in everything. Aside from the food, he stacked everything else in the spare room. It could wait until tomorrow for sorting.

_He wanted to get to Dean, he needed to be with him, to feel him and hold him._

Opening the back door closest to Dean's head, Sam squatted down and slowly began to wake Dean up with loving kisses and soothing words.

Dean's eyes kept fluttering open and sliding closed again, as he tried to focus on Sam. "Hey Dean, can you open your eyes for me?" Sam asked as he placed his arms delicately under Dean's shoulders, taking extra care with the injured one and lifted Dean gently up.

"Sam?" Dean slurred. "That's right babe. It's me. Guess what? We're at our new place" Sam said, easing himself slowly into the car and wrapping one arm around Dean's shoulders and covering Dean's hands with his other.

"This is a great place and it's just going to be you and me" Sam observed. He could feel Dean's muscles bunching and tensing beneath his touch.

"I'm here, Dean. Nothing bad is going to happen. I've got you" Sam re-assured. "I want to take you and Monroe inside now and get you all warmed up" Sam stated as he gave Dean a gentle nudge and slowly slid out of the car, pulling Dean with him. Sam held him tight as Dean wobbled and swayed when his bare feet hit the ground.

"Too dark" Dean whispered and buried his face against Sam's shoulder. Sam moved the covering wrapped around Dean up and over Dean's head, helping to shield his view from the darkness.

Walking towards the house, Sam set the pace. When they reached the stairs, Dean's legs were very shaky. Sam scooped him up and carried him inside, not stopping until he sat down on the couch with Dean on his lap and locked up in his arms.

Sam could feel Dean's heart thundering against his own. After catching his breath, Sam leaned his face down and inside the covering, feeling Dean's face against his lips. "S'okay, Dean…s'okay" Sam soothed before gently removing the covering from Dean's head.

Dean kept his eyes closed for the first few minutes before gradually opening them and taking a tentative glance around the place. "It's ours baby, for as long as we want it" Sam said tenderly. "You and me – Sammy and Dean" Sam voiced. "Kiss Sammy" Dean said as he lifted slightly and kissed Sam. "Kiss Dean" Sam murmured, smiling against Dean's lips.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Are you hungry?" Sam asked a short time later. Dean shook his head no. "Sleepy" Dean declared before suddenly sitting up in Sam's arms and looking around in alarm.

"Where's puppy dog?" Dean asked. Sam checked the covering Dean was wrapped up in and the surrounding area. "I don't know, Dean. He can't be too far. He came with us" Sam re-assured, stroking Dean's face gently.

"I think maybe Monroe might be in the car and he's probably scared all by himself" Sam explained, as he began to do up the buttons on Dean's shirt. "Do you think we should go get him?" Sam asked. "Umm….aah" Dean stood up and so did Sam. Dean slipped his hand into Sam's and held on tight. "Okay" Dean agreed nervously.

The covering fell off as Dean kept holding Sam's hand and wrapped his other one around Sam's forearm. Leaning in close, Dean pasted himself against Sam when Sam opened the door to reveal the moonless night.

Sam looked down at Dean and smiled. Ever so slowly, they walked to the Impala. Sam opened the car doors and they both looked in. There was no Monroe.

"Uh-oh" Dean said with concern. "Don't worry, we'll find him" Sam said. The night air was cold and Dean shivered. Sam got him back inside as fast as possible.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"We'll find him, don't worry" Sam re-assured after they'd used the bathroom. Entering the bedroom, Sam walked over and turned on the bedside lamp.

The bed was a king-size one, piled high with comforters, quilts and pillows. Sam recalled that Jackson had been married at one time, before his wife had been killed. This would certainly reflect the fancy bedding they were presently looking at.

Helping Dean out of his jeans, Sam then lifted the bedding back so Dean could climb in first. Sam followed him in and groaned in pleasure as he felt the soft mattress beneath him. "Oh Dean, isn't this great?" he asked as he pulled Dean close to him. Stroking his cheek, Sam kissed his big brother a few times. "You're safe here. We're going to be just fine" Sam said as Dean slowly closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Making sure that Dean was sound asleep before leaving him, Sam then gathered his flashlight and went back outside to look for Monroe. He certainly wasn't in the Impala. Sam re-checked the whole car, underneath it and around it.

Casting the beam wide over the path they'd taken to the house, he scanned the area. "Gotcha!" he said out loud as he observed Monroe lodged between the stairs and a scrub bush. Picking him up and cleaning him off, Sam turned off the flashlight and headed back inside.

Taking off his shoes, but too tired to get out of anything else, Sam fell into bed. Placing Monroe against Dean, Sam kissed them both goodnight.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"You're here. You came back, just like I did" Dean was whispering to Monroe.

Sam cracked one eye open slightly and watched as Dean nuzzled the little stuffed dog against his face.

"Sam is happy I came back. He loves me and I love _my _Sammy with all my heart. He takes care of me. Sometimes my head doesn't do things good and I get lost. Sam helps me not to get lost" Dean finished as he hugged Monroe to him and sighed.

Sam closed his eye quickly as Dean shifted to his side and faced towards Sam. "We have to be quiet so Sam can sleep. I hope he makes pancakes today" Dean wished.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Time to wake up sleepyhead" Sam gently shook Dean. "Your food is going to get cold" Sam bent over and whispered in Dean's ear. "Monroe is already sitting at the table" Sam chuckled lightly.

Sam kissed the shell of Dean's ear, causing an excited giggle to escape from Dean. "Ah-ha! I knew you were only pretending to be asleep" Sam laughed as he knelt on the bed and kissed Dean's face and neck.

Dean turned onto his back and smiled up at Sam. It was a heart-felt smile through a healing mouth that Sam committed to memory. There were long and rough days ahead, no doubt, but this smile could get them through a lot of it.

"What was that I just heard?" Sam teased as Dean's stomach rumbled again. "What's that you said Mr. Stomach?" Sam asked as he bent his head and put his ear to Dean's stomach. "Oh, Dean is hungry" Sam continued as Dean laughed. "Well, if Dean would get out of bed and get over to the table, his food is waiting for him" Sam said before standing up and smiling down at Dean.

"Monroe, don't eat all of Dean's pancakes" Sam called out to the table.

"Pancakes!" Dean sat up and hugged Sam around the waist. "Thank you, thank you" he exclaimed happily. Sam ran his hands through his brother's hair. "You're welcome" Sam responded emotionally. He vowed to make all the new things that were important to Dean, extra special and fun filled.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean was sitting on the couch when Sam walked in with his hands behind his back.

"I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes" Sam urged.

Dean did as he was asked and closed his eyes tightly. "No peeking" Sam warned as he placed the ball in Dean's syrup sticky hands and then sat down on the couch beside Dean. "Okay, you can open them" Sam said.

The look of absolute delight on Dean's face was beautiful. He was overjoyed with the gift. "A red ball for me…and for you Sammy" Dean explained as he reached over and planted a sticky kiss on Sam's cheek. "Thank you" he beamed before climbing off the couch and sitting on the floor.

"Come Sam let's play" Dean said and Sam smiled. Sam sat down and leaned his back against the couch. Stretching his long legs, he asked Dean to do the same, so that their feet were touching each other, just like Dean had shown him when he taught Sam how to play ball. This position kept the ball from rolling away.

It started out not going as well as it should have, due to someone's sticky fingers. Not mentioning any names, but Sam got up and wetted a face cloth with warm water, bent down and washed Dean's hands and face with it. The ball rolled much smoother after this.

It was a really enjoyable time they had and Sam took great pleasure in encouraging Dean, who soaked in all the well deserved praise.

Sam noticed Dean's eyes beginning to droop later on. There had been a lot going on and he was due for a rest. Sam rolled the ball to Dean who trapped it in his hands and then crawled into Sam's lap.

Laying his head on Sam's shoulder, Dean closed his eyes and sighed.

To be continued.

**Author's Note:** A very warm thank you and a big hug to the supporters of this story. Thank you.


	6. Love

**Chapter Six - Love**

"Sammy, it's raining in the house" Dean called out from the little room. He was feeling secure enough within the house that he was venturing into rooms by himself.

Sam had taken Dean on a tour of the place and had held his hand and told him that there was nothing to be scared of. Of course, as long as Sam was close by, then it was all good.

It had been raining heavily and their house, which was rapidly becoming their home, was filled with the delicious smell of spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove, the drone of their two channel 12 inch TV in the living room and Sam's humming, as he finished shaving and went to find Dean.

Dean found him first. Tugging sweetly at Sam's shirt hem, Dean pulled him into the little room. "See?" Dean questioned, pointing to the ever growing pool of water. "Well that's just great" Sam muttered as he looked up at the leak in the ceiling.

"It is" Dean agreed as he went and stood under the leak, lifted his head up and opened his mouth. Catching some of the drops on his tongue, as others splashed on his face, he turned and smiled at Sam. Dean's mouth was almost healed and his drop dead smile was returning. "You try it, Sammy" Dean laughed, and oh boy, was that sound music to Sam's ears.

Walking over, Sam came and stood behind Dean, wrapping his arms around him. Kissing the side of Dean's neck, Sam then lifted his face upward and caught some of the drops. Dean shifted in his arms so he could watch Sam. As the inside rain continued to fall, two brothers shared in the joy of a surprise pleasure.

Sam looked down at Dean's upturned face. His cheeks were spotted with red, freckles were on alert and green eyes were more lively than Sam had recently seen them.

Sam couldn't resist. Leaning down, he kissed Dean, causing a happy laugh to escape from his big brother.

It was a lovely kiss, gentle and sweet and contentedly returned. They stood there, wrapped up together, raindrops splattering on their heads, water trickling down their faces. They were happy and it was easy and this sharing and healing was definitely needed.

Two falling pieces of plaster interrupted the joyous kiss. Sam protected Dean with his body, the plaster falling harmlessly on Sam's shoulders. "Let me get a pot" Sam said, keeping his arm wrapped around Dean as they walked out of the room.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

There was a wonderful old recliner in the place. It was big and comfortable and that's where Sam chose to begin his approach to helping Dean get better.

He was going to attempt to gently start probing into what had happened to Dean while he was gone.

Sitting down on the comfortable chair, Sam waited for Dean. He smiled warmly when Dean walked in with his red ball in one hand and Monroe in the other.

Coming over and looking at Sam, Dean put his things down on the floor and climbed onto Sam's lap. Getting Dean comfortable, Sam then reclined the chair back, enjoying the sound of Dean's laughter with the ride, and wrapped his arms around his big brother.

"How you doing?" Sam asked softly. "Good, Sammy" Dean responded as he tucked his head into the dip of Sam's shoulder and started to run his fingers around the edges of one of Sam's shirt buttons.

"Dean, I have something I want to talk to you about" Sam continued. "To help make you better, I was wondering if you could tell me about when you went away and what happened" Sam asked gently.

Time suspended and held still as Sam waited for Dean to respond.

A small voice, full of lots of hurt and upset whispered into Sam's ear. "They hurt me. I tried to get away, but I couldn't" Dean told Sam. "I got broke and I got scared and I cried for you."

Dean stopped the rubbing of Sam's button and froze like a statute in Sam's arms, lost somewhere in dreadful memories. Sam kissed Dean's forehead. "S'okay, Deanie, s'okay" he whispered. Dean let out a shuddering breath. Pin prick tears welled up and burnt the inside of Sam's eye lids.

"Can you tell me what they did to you?" Sam's voice betrayed the pain he was feeling at having to push on and ask this question. Dean turned his face against Sam's chest. His reply muffled by the fabric, but heard nonetheless. "No, Sammy, not now. I can't…please…no Sam…no" Dean begged. "Okay, okay, no more…no more" Sam consoled, pressing his lips against Dean's temple.

"You're so cold" Sam observed as he ran his hands up Dean's arms, wrapping them tighter around Dean.

"Will I get better?" Dean suddenly asked, his tone urgent as he avidly scanned Sam's face.

"Guaranteed" Sam replied and supplied Dean with the most genuine smile he could produce.

"You'll love me no matter what? For always?" Dean asked, almost breathless as he looked up and into Sam's eyes.

"No matter what and for always" Sam promised, tweaking Dean's nose.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

When Sam had previously made his purchases the second time he'd been to the store, he had bought a supply of treats for Dean, things he knew his brother enjoyed.

After the upsetting recount of a while ago, Sam decided now would be a good time to pull out one of the treats as he shook a liberal amount out of the package and into a bowl, gathered their drinks and walked back into the living room.

"Here you go, fella" Sam smiled brightly down at Dean as he handed him a bowl of Peanut M and M's. "Thanks, Sammy" a delighted Dean responded as he took the bowl and placed it on his lap. Sam put the two soft drinks on the coffee table in front of them. "It's starting" Dean grinned at Sam, his mouth loaded with the multi-coloured candies.

There was not a lot of choice with only two channels. The fact that one of them was currently experiencing technical difficulties only left the one channel and of all things playing, it was the movie Bambi. Sam shook his head slightly at it, but Dean seemed happy enough.

Dean reached into his almost empty bowl and pulled out the remaining candies for Sam. Dean's face and hands were now reflecting the various colours of the candy and he just looked so cute, that Sam couldn't resist planting a kiss on the bridge of Dean's nose, before giving him a sip of his drink.

The movie was progressing and Dean linked his fingers with Sam's, while leaning his head against Sam's shoulder.

When the gun appeared on the screen, Dean visibly tensed. There was not much of an opportunity for Sam to warn Dean about the impending scene, before the gun was fired. Dean recoiled and buried his face behind Sam's shoulder. His breathing was rapid and deep.

"Aw, Dean" Sam grimaced, as he quickly leaned forward and shut off the TV. Dean looked up at him with big eyes and a very sad expression. Sam went to pull Dean into a hug, when Dean surprised him. "No, it's okay" Dean said quietly, climbing off the couch and turning to look at Sam. "Our Mommy died too, right Sammy?" Dean asked seriously. Sam nodded and Dean lowered his head. Reaching out his hand, Sam tried to catch Dean's wrist but Dean had already started to walk away.

Sam watched him go. Little by little, Dean's memories were returning. Small capsules of time were breaking free and re-surfacing.

_His heart was aching for Dean._

Deciding it was best to give his brother some alone time, Sam lasted no more than five minutes before he went to Dean.

Standing in the bedroom doorway he observed Dean and the emotions playing out across his candy stained face. Dean's eyes welled up when he saw Sam, tears running down his cheeks, leaving coloured tracks.

Walking over to the bed, Sam sat down gently beside him and placed his hand carefully on Dean's shoulder. "You okay, buddy?" he asked. Dean looked at him. A pair of woeful green eyes met Sam's. "Daddy's gone too?" Dean asked through trembling lips. "Daddy's gone too" Sam confirmed as he leaned forward and tucked his arms around Dean. "Mommy and Daddy are gone, but I'm here Dean and I love you" Sam murmured as he rocked Dean against him.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Later on, Sam was trying his best to help Dean focus on something more happy. "Do you want to play with Monroe?" Sam asked. "He's asleep" Dean told Sam. "Want to play ball?" Sam tried another way to get Dean out of the funk he'd been in with all the emotional upset that had been going on.

"No" Dean replied and turned and walked to the bathroom.

Frowning, Sam returned to slicing the tomato for the salad he was making. Lost in thought about Dean, he didn't hear the approaching footsteps or see the mischievous grin on Dean's face.

On his way back from the bathroom, Dean had decided to scare Sam. They always had so much fun with this game and he wanted Sammy to be happy again.

"BOO!" Dean yelled, startling Sam. The knife slipped and he cut his hand. "Shit! What the hell?" Sam swore as he grabbed his hand and turned to look at Dean.

In rapid succession, Dean took in the look on Sam's face, the blood and the fact that Sam had started to approach him. Backing up and away from Sam, Dean's eyes were wild with hurt. "Dean, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you. You just startled me, it was an accident. I'm sorry, baby" Sam soothed as he slowly moved towards Dean. "I'm sorry" he whispered again.

Observing Dean put his finger in his mouth, Sam watched as any progress that had been made seemed to vanish.

Turning quickly and running his hand under cold water, Sam pressed on the small injury until it stopped bleeding and then ran for Dean. He was where he expected to find him, laying on their bed, buried deep under a pile of bedding.

Sam padded quietly into the bedroom and walked over to the bed. Dean was lying on his side, facing the wall. Squatting down beside the bed and laying his head on his forearm, he looked closely at the sad face in front of him. "Hi" he ventured.

A frown creased the brow of the sad face, green eyes filled with water and lips began to quiver. Bunching the blanket up in his fists, Dean buried his face in the covering.

Reaching out, Sam tenderly ran his fingers through the soft locks of his brother's hair. "I shouldn't have yelled. I was wrong, babe. You just gave me a scare and the knife slipped. I'm fine, Deanie. I washed it and it's all okay" Sam soothed.

"I'm so sorry I scared you. I wish I could take it back. Do you think you could look at me…please" Sam asked gently.

Moments lapsed. Sam continued to stroke Dean's hair. The blanket was lowered a few inches. "There's my guy" Sam said smiling.

Dean shifted over in the bed so he was lying close to Sam and they were almost touching face to face. He took Sam's cut hand tenderly in his own and looked at the cut. "I hurt you, I didn't mean too, I was just playing a game, but I hurt you and now you don't love me. Mommy's gone, Daddy's gone, you don't love me and now I have no one" Dean wailed as he kissed the small wound.

"I'll go away Sammy and I won't hurt you again" Dean gulped. "I just want to give you a big hug first" Dean sobbed as he put his trembling arms around Sam and held tight.

"Stand up Dean" Sam said seriously as he slowly pried Dean's arms from around him, stood up and then whipped back the blankets. Waiting patiently, Sam watched as Dean got up. Sam then sat down on the bed, spread his legs slightly and planted his feet firmly on the floor.

"On you get" Sam motioned as he took hold of Dean's hands. Dean looked down at Sam through wet soaked lashes before he climbed onto Sam's lap, wrapping his legs around Sam's hips. "Closer" Sam said. Once Dean was positioned just so, Sam clasped Dean's face between his hands. "Look at me" Sam said solemnly. Troubled green eyes caught and captured his baby brother's.

"I lost you once and it almost killed me. If I lose you again, it would kill me. Dean, what happened was an accident, it was no one's fault and I _don't ever_ want to hear you talk about going away again. _Fuck, Dean, you're my life._ _Tell me you'll never leave me_" Sam begged.

Dean bit his lip and pressed his face against Sam's. "But I hurt you" Dean said in a small, breathy voice, feeling scared.

"I'm fine Dean, I really am" Sam stuttered, feeling his own tears slip out. "Just don't leave me, Dean…just don't leave me" Sam moaned.

It was Dean's turn to hold Sam's face between his hands. "I won't Sammy. I promise I won't" Dean breathed as he cradled Sam's head against his chest.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Are you sure lady?" the bus driver asked. "Yes, I'm sure" Rainbow replied. "You just spent days travelling from there to get to here and now you want to go right back again?" the bus driver shook his head. "You'll find the ticket office right over there. It doesn't open till morning though, so you'll have to wait in the station" the driver advised as he handed Rainbow her bag before climbing back on the bus.

"Thank you" she responded. Walking into the almost deserted station and choosing a seat, Rainbow settled herself in for the long wait until morning and her return trip to Sam and Dean.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Good?" Sam asked as he helped Dean to eat the last of his spaghetti. Dean's hands were still shaky. Dean loved being fed by Sam. It made him feel safe and protected and loved. On the other side, Sam loved feeding Dean. It made him feel needed, a protector and quite simply, he loved taking care of Dean. "Umm…hmm" Dean said, his mouth full.

"I'd like to give you a bath and check your injuries" Sam said as he wiped off some of the remaining sauce from the corner of Dean's mouth. "Lots of bubbles, okay Sammy?" Dean agreed happily. "Lots of bubbles" Sam confirmed smiling.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam was thankful that he had chosen to check on the progress of Dean's injuries before the bath. They were coming along nicely and the exposure to open air would be good for them. The water seemed to have helped too, as it softened the edges of the injuries. Sam decided to leave them uncovered for the time being.

Sitting on the recliner, with Dean standing between his legs, Sam finished doing up the last button on the warm flannel shirt he had dressed Dean in. "Can you tell me a story tonight, Sammy?" Dean smiled hopefully, tilting his head to look down at Sam. "I sure will. I'm going to tell you one of my favourite ones" Sam explained as he tenderly settled a bath warmed Dean onto his lap and into the fold of his arms.

Sam began to tell him a story, a story about two brothers who fell in love.

To be continued

**Author's Note:** Thank you ever so much everyone for your kindness and support of this story. It means so much and I truly appreciate it.


	7. Loving Dean

**Chapter Seven – Loving Dean**

Sam had no idea what time it was. Casting a view out the bedroom window, the sky was inky black and the rain was still falling.

It had been a horrendous night. Dean was having nightmares that were so bad, they were constricting his breathing. It seemed to be a series of the same version of the first one that had woken them both up, with hearts pounding and minds temporarily disorientated.

Sleep for Sam had been unattainable after this. He had pulled Dean close to him, almost on top of him and had gently rubbed his back up and down.

"S'okay, baby, s'okay" Sam murmured as Dean tensed against him. "I can't breathe, I can't get away! Where's Sammy?" Dean moaned.

Sam began to stroke Dean's face with light force. "Sammy's right here, Dean. I'm holding you. Can you feel me?"

Dean's breathing slowly began to regulate. "Sammy?" he slurred. "Yeah, it's me. You're safe, Dean. I've got ya" Sam soothed as Dean nuzzled his face against Sam's neck and drifted off.

Sam laid there awake for the longest time holding his big brother. Reviewing Dean's utterings in his mind, they didn't seem to make a lot of sense to Sam at this point. However, based on the fear in Dean's voice and the corkscrew tightness of his body, they sure as hell meant many horrible things to the man in his arms.

These were the unsettling thoughts that followed Sam down and into a restless sleep.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean was the first to wake-up and be fully awake. There was no chance of going back to sleep, it was one of those types of waking that when you're up, you're up. No amount of cuddling or snuggling was going to help.

Remembering fragments of the nightmares caused Dean to shiver and pull himself closer to Sammy.

Sam's body warmth and arm wrapped around him were the best medicine in the world for Dean.

Dean pulled back his head and looked at a sleeping Sam. Drool was pooling slightly in the corner of his mouth and for some reason this caused Dean to smile. "Gosh, I love you" Dean whispered out loud before lightly kissing Sam's lips.

Caught a little off guard as Sam shifted against him and more into the kiss, Dean stilled. "Mmm" Sam hummed, clearly still asleep.

If Sam had been awake at this point, he would have felt stunned at the expression of worship and adoration on Dean's face. Clearly, Sam meant everything to him, this had not changed, Dean was just more open about showing it.

Dean was sort of half on top of Sam and half off, when he felt Sam begin to rub against him. Sam was having his own type of dream Dean surmised and having Sammy against him like this felt pretty darn wonderful, when Dean suddenly remembered from before what he had wanted to try on Sam again. Now seemed like a good time, Sam was asleep, but feeling something. Something good? Dean was going to find out.

Kissing _his_ Sammy lightly on the lips once again, Dean bravely moved his hand down towards Sam's groin area. The swell was there again and Sam was rubbing himself against Dean.

Dean nervously placed his hand over Sam _down there. _He didn't go under the boxers Sam was wearing, he just kept his hand resting lightly on top.

Closing his eyes, Dean slowed his breathing so that he could really try and do his best for whatever it was that Sammy was looking for.

By the time Dean began to stroke Sam's ever growing erection, Sam was deep in the throes of what he thought was one of the best wet dreams of his life as he ground harder into the loving touch.

Dean's heartbeat was pounding between them and his eyes flew open as Sam lurched closer to him and let out a strangled cry. His face was scrunched up and Dean wondered if it hurt, when he suddenly felt warm fluid leaking onto his hand.

Sam was letting out little mewling cries and pressed closer to Dean's hand. Dean rubbed a little more. It seemed to be what Sammy needed as Dean watched his face go slack and serene.

Bringing his wet hand up to examine, the smell of Sam was overwhelmingly familiar and welcome. Memories began to tumble one over the other as earlier frightened thoughts were dislodged with loving ones.

Wiping his hand on the comforter, Dean smiled to himself. Maybe he'd be able to get his old self back after all, he'd just need to be patient, just like Sammy kept telling him.

Giving his brother another kiss before climbing out of bed, Dean then covered up Sam with the blankets.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam stretched like a big lazy bear. His body felt boneless and relaxed. He'd had one of the best wet dreams in recent history and he felt like a new man. All the tension and anxiety had left him. He laid there and stretched and scratched and made all these manly noises from deep within his throat.

The only thing missing was Dean. He needed _his_ Dean. He wanted to hold him and wrap him up in his arms and start the day, whatever time of day it was, with his guy by his side.

With great effort, Sam managed to throw the coverings off of him and plant his feet on the floor. Two things occurred to him almost immediately. His toenails were now a metallic shade of shocking blue and things between his legs were in various stages of squishy wet and painfully drying. The type of drying where your pubic hair feels like it could be pulled from your skin if you move the wrong way.

"What are my chances of sneaking to the bathroom without Dean seeing me?" Sam pondered. Rising up and deciding to try, he grabbed a clean pair of boxers along the way. He thought he was in the clear, that he had made it, without having to answer any embarrassing questions, when he bumped into Dean, in the bathroom. He was giving Monroe a bath in the sink.

"Hi Sammy" Dean said delightedly. "Hey you" Sam couldn't help but smile. "You had a good sleep, huh? I helped you" Dean advised. "I had a great sleep" Sam agreed as he folded his arms around his brother and kissed his neck.

"Monroe asked for a bath and he was too little for the big tub, so I'm giving him one here. I think he's done now" Dean explained as he pulled Monroe out of the bubbled water in the sink and began to dry him off.

"Hungry?" Sam asked.

"Starving" Dean replied.

"I'll just get washed up and then I'll make us something" Sam said.

"Okay, Sammy" Dean replied as he rested his head against Sam's shoulder for a moment before leaving.

Closing the door only partway, Sam then eked his way out of his soiled boxers. Grabbing a facecloth, Sam swirled it in Monroe's bath water and proceeded to clean himself up. It wasn't long before he felt much better.

Putting on his clean boxers as he walked out of the bathroom, he smiled at the sight before him.

Dean was sitting at the kitchen table, fluffing Monroe up with the towel.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam was almost finished making the BLT's. He'd just scarfed a piece of bacon when Dean chose to ask his question. "You liked when I rubbed you?" Dean asked innocently, causing Sam to almost choke.

Deciding finishing off the piece of bacon would be the best course of action, Sam chewed quickly and swallowed rapidly before turning to face Dean.

"Umm, I'm not sure what you mean" Sam stated. He had a good idea, but he wasn't sure he was ready to confront this idea yet.

Dean stood up and came and stood in front of Sam. "Like this" he said, as he lowered his hand and rested it on Sam's groin area. "Oh shit" Sam squeaked and inadvertently pulled back. Dean looked up at him with big watery eyes. "I did something wrong?" he asked in a small voice.

"What? No! Not at all" Sam consoled. Taking Dean's hand, he led his big brother to the couch. Sitting side by side, fingers linked, Dean leaned his head against Sam's shoulder.

"It was the best, Dean. It made me feel really good and warm and loved. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you did something wrong, cause you sure didn't, not at all. It was really great" Sam explained.

"You caught me a bit off guard though buddy. I wasn't sure how much you remember about us being together and in what ways" Sam pressed gently.

Dean nodded against his shoulder. "I remember some things better now, Sammy. I remembered from last time that you liked what I was doing, but then you made me stop. So when you were asleep this time, and started moving, I decided to try it again." Dean explained truthfully.

"Then...well...when I felt something warm on my hand...and then brought my hand close to my face, your smell helped me to remember more things" Dean said, the heat from this statement causing his face to flush hot.

Sam sensed the shift and looked down at Dean. "It's all good, darl'in. I'm so happy that you're remembering good things and our loving each other has always been the very best" Sam reassured as he brought up his unoccupied hand and slowly began to caress Dean's warm cheek. Dean leaned into the touch and closed his eyes.

"Sam?"

"Um hmm?" Sam replied quietly, enjoying watching Dean.

"Do you think...could we maybe...do you think you could do it to me too?" Dean asked shyly, keeping his eyes closed.

Sam looked at the dear face in front of him. This could have been a huge freak out moment, there was no question, but Sam chose the purest path instead, the path of love.

Running his thumb over Dean's cheekbone, Sam continued to stare at Dean, until Dean finally opened his eyes. "Absolutely!" Sam said smiling, enjoying the sparkle in Dean's eyes at his response. "I want this to be extra special for you. I want to have everything just right" Sam enthused.

Dean shifted so that he could wrap his arms around Sam's waist. "Being with you Sammy is always special and just right" Dean confirmed, before his stomach rumbled, sending them both into fits of laughter.

As Dean was about to stand up, Sam held him still. "Before I release you, I think there's something you need to come clean about, sir" Sam said playfully. "Uh-oh" Dean laughed. "Uh-oh is right" Sam grinned looking pointedly down at his feet.

Dean laughed nervously. "Well, um, I was watching the TV and they showed this lady painting her nails and I saw the same bottle in the closet, and I wanted to try it out, cause it looked way cool and you were asleep, but your feet were sticking out and well, Sammy, I just couldn't help myself" Dean giggled.

"You're so going to pay for that Mister" Sam laughed. "I feel the tickle monster is about to make an appearance" Sam continued as he folded his hand into a 'scary' shape and began his tickling of Dean. It was loud and it was fun.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

The day was moving forward. The rain was still falling, the leak in the little room was growing and Sam had lost count of all the pots he had emptied.

Dean was sound asleep on the couch with a damp Monroe curled into his arms. Sam looked down lovingly as he placed a comforter over Dean. Turning off the TV, Sam then cleaned up the kitchen and pulled out a frozen lasagne for later on, along with some frozen garlic bread.

The place was getting damp, Sam could feel it in his bones, and he was too young for that type of feeling.

Gathering some kindling he set about making a fire in the fireplace. He'd been unsure about making one and Dean's unknown reaction to it, but the time had come and the place needed to warm up a bit.

Once he had the fire good and going, Sam then stripped down the bed and put on fresh bedding.

Checking on Dean, Sam found him still asleep.

Sam walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, good and hot. Stripping down and gathering his shaving gear and toothbrush, he stepped into the tub.

The water felt wonderful against his skin. Shaving first and then brushing his teeth after, Sam finally just stood under the hot water and let it do its magic. Lost in thoughts about what he was planning for Dean, Sam initially did not hear the commotion in the outer rooms. He stood there for a few more moments. "My God, that's Dean crying" Sam thought as he hastily turned off the shower and quickly dried himself off. Throwing on a pair of boxers he ran out of the room and stopped cold.

Dean was crouched by the fireplace, crying as if his heart had been broken. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he wailed over and over.

Sam came up behind him and crouched down. Putting his arm around Dean, he leaned in close. "What's the matter, Deanie?" he asked softly. "I...I...wanted to show Monroe the fire...and...and" Dean was inconsolable. Sam ran his fingers through his brother's hair. "He got burnt, Sammy. Sparkles of fire came off the wood and they got him" Dean sobbed as he held Monroe close to his chest.

Of all the things Sam worried about when starting the fire, this had not crossed his mind. He felt terrible. "Can I see Monroe...please" Sam asked. With trembling hands Dean passed Monroe to Sam. One of his front paws had a small singe mark on it. All Sam could think of, was thank goodness that Dean had given Monroe a bath before and that he was still damp, otherwise he would have been that much worse off and there was no telling where that would have left Dean.

"Hey Monroe, how are you feeling? You got a little burnt, huh. Well, I know the best thing to treat a burn and Dean and I are going to make you all better" Sam told the little stuffed dog. "What's that?" Sam questioned as he held Monroe up to his ear. "I agree with you, I know it wasn't Dean's fault either. It was just an accident and that you still love him very much" Sam translated as he watched Dean's swollen and tear stained face.

Kissing the puppy's paw, Sam gave him back to Dean. "How about we go and get Monroe all fixed up" Sam said gently as he stood up and then assisted Dean to his feet. Dean threw himself against Sam and cried.

Sam and Dean were sitting at the kitchen table a short time later, with Monroe between them. Dean was watching intently as Sam applied first the ointment and then the band aid. Admiring his completed handiwork, Sam then turned his attention to Dean.

"See baby, he's going to be fine" Sam reassured, gently tracing the side of Dean's nose with his fingertips. Dean got off his chair and climbed onto Sam's lap, adjusting himself so that he could lay his face against Sam's neck. "Thanks Sammy for taking care of Monroe" Dean gulped.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Lady, it looks like we're going to be stuck here for another night" the agent told Rainbow. "Many of the roads are flooded and we're all in the same boat. No pun intended" the agent smiled. Rainbow couldn't help displaying a smile herself at the unintended pun.

"What will be, will be. All things in their time" Rainbow answered.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

The lasagne and garlic bread went a long way to salvaging shredded nerves. Monroe was getting a lot of extra attention from Dean and Dean was getting a lot of extra and loving attention from Sam.

The night was winding down as Sam helped Dean to finish shaving. After they'd both brushed their teeth, they stood smiling at each other in the mirror.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam made a last check of the house and grabbed a wet washcloth before joining Dean in the bedroom.

The side lamp was on and the room was cast in a warm glow. Dean looked adorable, sitting propped up against the headboard and twisting the blanket ends nervously in his hands.

"Hi" he smiled shyly.

"Hi" Sam replied as he placed the cloth on the nightstand, stripped down and climbed into bed, pleasantly surprised to find Dean also naked.

Dean looked down at Sam and smiled. His hands were frantically working the blanket ends. He was so nervous.

Sam took one of his hands and was able to cover both of Dean's with it. "Are you scared?" he asked tenderly. Dean bit his lip and nodded.

"We don't have to do this sweetheart. There's no rush here. We can wait until you feel ready" Sam assured with a smile.

"No, I really, really want too" Dean said in a shaky voice. Sam chuckled and reached up to Dean's face, tracing his thumb over the rugged jaw. "Come closer" Sam encouraged. Dean shifted down so that he was laying even with Sam.

"If this gets to be too much, you let me know and we'll stop" Sam advised as he turned on his side and gently pulled Dean to him. It was going to be a little difficult with Dean's shoulder and side injuries, but Sam could work around it.

Not knowing for sure how much Dean remembered or didn't remember, Sam wanted to be sure that he didn't do anything to scare Dean.

Avid green eyes searched Sam's face before moving forward to kiss him. It was a tender kiss, time spent leisurely and lovingly exploring the inside of each other's mouths. Dean tensed momentarily when he felt Sam's tongue pressing for entry. Sam teased the outer reaches of Dean's lips, causing tiny sighs to escape. Once inside, Sam caressed the side of Dean's tongue with his own, much to their mutual satisfaction.

Dean placed one of his hands on the side of Sam's neck, enjoying the feel of the ever increasing throb.

Shifting Dean onto his back, Sam then ran both his hands over Dean's chest, stopping at the two rose coloured nipples he loved and adored. Rubbing at them, he gently disentangled himself from Dean's lips and kissed his way down Dean's neck and sternum to the waiting nubs.

"This okay?" Sam asked as he licked and nipped at the sensitive tips. "Sam" Dean slurred, writhing and wiggling as Sam paid diligent attention to each. Sam took this as a positive response and continued to nurse at one, alternately sucking and blowing on one, while his hand worked on the other. This was a particularly significant step, as like with most couples, everyone had their secret thing, something that was not usually talked about, but just happened when needed. Sam had been unsure with Dean's injuries, both physically and mentally on whether to proceed earlier, he was glad he had waited until now.

Sam loved this as much as Dean did. It had always sort of been _their_ thing. When it had first happened, it was quite by accident with Dean insisting that this type of thing just didn't work for him or get him off. Sam had proven him wrong – and how. Dean loved having his nipples sucked and played with and Sam in turn loved nursing at them. Even when no lovemaking or hot and heavy sex was involved, but cuddling and comfort were needed, it was theirs.

Sam recalled one time, after a particularly shattering hunt that had left them both shaken and isolated from each other, Dean had driven off the main highway and parked on a secluded dirt side road. He had gotten out of the car, started to undo his shirt buttons and climbed into the back seat. By the time Sam had joined him, Dean had his shirt unbuttoned and his under top bunched up to his collarbones.

The brothers exchanged a loving look as Sam moved closer and adjusted himself sideways in Dean's waiting arms. It had been awkward at first with Sam's long legs, but they had made it work and as Sam had latched on to Dean and closed his eyes, Dean had reached down and gently stroked the strands of hair away from his forehead.

For two hunters, two brothers, who life had thrown such a curve ball, this type of gentle exchange was highly cherished.

When needed, Sam would come looking for Dean, tugging and opening his shirt, looking at Dean to make sure it was okay and then settling in. Other times it was Dean who would search out Sam, with his top open and Sam would know that Dean was in need of some loving. It was soothing and satisfying and theirs to enjoy.

Feeling his own erection gathering force, Sam wiggled slightly against Dean. "Sam...Sam...Sammy" Dean hummed as he tangled his fingers in Sam's hair and pulled him closer. Exhaling a whining sound as one of Sam's hands left his breast, Dean got lost in a tingly feeling as Sam's hand moved down his stomach, circled around his groin region and then gently encircled his growing cock.

Quivering and shaking, Dean arched up under the touch of Sam's tender rubbing. Sam felt the first leak of Dean's pre cum against his fingertips. His own member was so stiff that he knew he'd be coming very soon.

Sam released Dean's well loved nipple from his mouth and kissed his way up Dean's neck. "Feeling good, baby?" he murmured. Dean's eyes were rolling backwards from the stimulation. "Keep touching me...please Sammy" Dean asked in a needy voice.

"Got ya covered" Sam obliged as he tugged a little harder at Dean's throbbing member. "Sammy" Dean yelled as he wrapped his hands around Sam's head and guided him back to his breast. "Please" he begged.

Between Sam's sucking and rubbing, Dean came in heavy waves of release, spraying over Sam's hand in thick cords of cum. This was Sam's undoing, as he felt Dean's hands searching for him, finding him and tugging him in tender pulls until Sam fell over the edge and joined Dean in an amazing release and afterglow.

Dean was panting heavily against the top of Sam's head. Licking at the underside of Dean's jaw, Sam tilted Dean's face down to his. "Good?" he asked. "So, so good" Dean smiled, displaying all the love and trust and wonderment that this shared time had given.

Reaching over for the cloth, Sam wiped them both down quickly, before tossing the cloth on the floor and turning out the light.

Dean was slightly higher than Sam in the bed. Sam went to adjust this so that he could hold Dean, but Dean placed a hand lightly on his chest. "I want to hold you" he said as he tenderly pulled Sam against him and kissed the top of his head. "Love _my_ Sammy" Dean slurred, barely able to keep his eyes propped open.

Sam snuggled in closer to the love of his life and began to suckle contentedly.

Bit by bit his big brother was returning to him Sam thought warmly, before drifting on, safe and sure in that knowledge.

To be continued.

Author's Note: Truly, thank you so, so much everyone, for your marvellous reviews, favoured stories, alerts and C2 listings. I sincerely appreciate your support of this story. Thank you.

Regarding the side road I used in this chapter, where the series is filmed, it's crisscrossed with a landscape of active railway tracks, a mega roadway and scrap metal yards.

When you're driving away from the studio, if you turn off one of the long roads, you'll come to a series of small dirt roads. One in particular has always caught my attention and I thought this would sure be a perfect place for the Impala to show up.

Well, one day it did, along with its driver and shotgun rider. :) :) :) The voices, the height, the flannel :) and _the warmth_ of them both are so real and genuine. OMG!!


	8. Blueberries

**Chapter Eight – Blueberries**

Dean came and stood beside Sam, holding a hairbrush in one hand and a bowl of thawing mango chunks, which Sam had gotten for him earlier, in the other.

Sam was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the couch, with Monroe on his lap.

"Can I brush your hair, Sammy?" Dean asked, smiling down at his little brother.

Sam returned the smile. "Sure" he said, leaning forward so Dean could get in behind him and onto the couch. Putting the bowl down first, Dean then held onto one of Sam's shoulders for balance, as he got himself set-up.

Gentle hands began to brush the strands back with soft strokes. Sam's eyes fell shut with the soothing repeated motions.

A short time later the brushing stopped as Dean took a break and ate some of the mangos. "These are really good. What are they called again, Sammy?" Dean asked his mouth full. Sam smiled. He loved introducing Dean to new food items, stuff his brother would have shied away from before.

"They're called mangos and they're really good for you" Sam responded.

"Hmm, your hair smells really pretty" Dean complimented Sam, as he buried his face into the dark hair. "Gee, thanks Dean."

"I love your smell Sammy" Dean continued on, kissing the side of Sam's neck in small, loving and mango sticky little kisses. Sam laughed and hunched up his shoulders in automatic response, causing Dean to giggle.

"Here Sammy, you have some too" Dean said as a generous handful of the yellow fruit made its way into Sam's mouth. Dean then proceeded to wipe his sticky hand on Sam's shirt.

"Of course you realize this means war" Sam said between swallows, using one of Dean's favourite lines from a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

Turning quickly, Sam was on his knees facing a surprised Dean. "Uh-oh" Dean laughed as he looked at Sam and fluttered his eye lashes. Dean was being way too adorable and cute. Sam's heart got that special feeling in it.

Placing the bowl on the floor and pulling Monroe unobtrusively out from under one of his knees, Sam took hold of Dean's shoulders and gently laid him down on the couch.

"Wipe your sticky hands on my shirt will you?" Sam questioned as he began to tickle Dean. After a lifetime of being brothers, Sam knew all the right places to hit. Being lovers, gave him a few additional ones to tease.

Dean was laughing so hard, wiggling this way and that, only pretending to try and push Sam's hands away.

Pausing from his tickle torture, Sam looked down at the freckled face before him. "I love you so much" Sam whispered, running both of his hands through Dean's hair before bending closer and kissing a set of mango tasting sticky lips.

Laying his head on Dean's chest, Sam resumed stroking Dean's hair.

Dean shifted his face closer to Sam's raised arm. Inserting his hand into Sam's loosely buttoned shirt, Dean's hand came to rest in the area of Sam's underarm.

Sam thought for sure Dean was getting ready to launch a revenge tickle attack, but that wasn't the case.

"You smell pretty here too Sammy" Dean said shyly. "I like how you smell after you've done something that makes you wet here" Dean whispered, his fingers gently continuing to stroke the fine hairs.

"You do, huh?" Sam asked at the previously suspected, but yet still surprise revelation.

"A lot" Dean murmured, as Sam watched the beginnings of a flush stain Dean's neck and face.

"I'll have to remember not to take so many showers" Sam noted, raising his head and capturing those loving lips in yet another kiss.

"_My Sammy_" Dean sighed, bringing his other arm up and hugging Sam to him.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"What's that I see and what am I not hearing?" Sam asked Dean, who looked at him with a puzzled expression. "I do believe that is the sun we're seeing coming through the window and I'm not hearing any rain falling" Sam said happily.

Sam wanted to take this opportunity while the sun was out to try and get Dean outside for even a little while. His last try at this had not ended well at all, but Dean was improving all the time and Sam felt it would be good for the both of them to take a walk down to the water. The old hunter who owned the property had mentioned that there was a path that led to a tiny sandy shoreline and a lake.

Dean looked at Sam and he guessed what was coming. He was sure Sammy was going to ask him to go outside. Dean didn't want too, he was more than content to stay inside, with _his_ Sammy forever. Concentrating more on this thought than watching what he was doing, Dean accidentally knocked over the sugar container, spilling the fine grains across the kitchen table.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Dean gulped as he jumped up and tried to gather the elusive crystals in his hands. Sam came over to him immediately. "It's okay, it was an accident" Sam re-assured. Placing his hands on Dean's hips, Sam shifted Dean to face him. "Here it comes" Dean thought. "Want to take a walk with me?" Sam asked, squeezing Dean's hips lightly. "We can take Monroe with us and your ball and a blanket and have some fun" Sam said, intently watching Dean's face for his reaction.

"I can do this, I can do it for Sammy" Dean's inner voice pronounced. Sam waited. "You'll hold my hand and you won't let go?" Dean questioned nervously, biting his lower lip. "I promise I'll hold your hand and I won't let go" Sam confirmed.

"What if I get trapped in my mind and they try to get me?" Dean asked, his eyes filling up. Sam couldn't have this, not again, he loved Dean far too much. Sam wanted nothing more than to keep the real world away forever and that was what he planned to do, until it came knocking. He was going to continue to cuddle and snuggle and hold and love his fragile brother in a cocoon of all encompassing care and compassion.

He thought that perhaps going outside with no one else around would make Dean more receptive to the idea. Evidently he was wrong.

Locking his arms around Dean and pulling him close, Sam held him. "I'm here Dean, no one is going to get you, you just keep holding onto me. We don't have to go out, I'll never make you do anything you don't want to, I love you too damn much for that" Sam murmured into Dean's ear.

Dean turned his face into Sam's neck. "Sammy, I know you'll always take care of me and protect me, but this time, I don't know if you can" Dean said in a low tone, his voice slightly muffled. "It's like they're there, but frozen and the ice is starting to melt, but I can't see them all yet" Dean explained in such a matter of fact tone, that Sam felt more upset and unsettled than he would have if Dean had been wailing.

"I don't think I can fight them" Dean whispered.

"Then we'll fight them together" Sam said fiercely as he tightened his grip on Dean.

Gathering strength from the loving arms that encircled him, Dean held on tight. "I'll go outside with you, Sammy" he announced in a small and scared voice.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

After getting dressed and gathering up their things, the guys found themselves on the back porch. Dean was clasping Monroe tightly to him and Sam was holding the ball and blanket under one arm.

"C'mon sweet thing" Sam said as he took Dean's hand in his own.

Ribbons of sunlight trickled across the misty covered foliage. The path was fraught with gnarled tree roots and uneven ground. Dean clung to Sam. The air smelt fresh and clean. Sam set a comfortable pace with soothing kisses and whispered words of encouragement filling the air.

The path ended abruptly and they found themselves on wet and soggy sand which led down to the lake.

"It's pretty, huh?" Dean said as he looked up at Sam and smiled. "It sure is" Sam agreed as his eyes swept the peaceful setting.

Selecting a 'dry' spot next to various berry bushes to spread out the blanket, Sam placed the ball on the sand and then unfolded the blanket and laid it down. Dean placed Monroe on it, petting him once, before picking up the ball and handing it to Sam.

Standing not too far from each other, Sam threw the ball gently to Dean. Dean caught it and smiled at Sammy, before throwing it back to him.

While it was a friendly game of back and forth ball, this particular fun, was also helping to re-build Dean's motor skills and hand-to-eye coordination.

They spent a while on the wet sandy beach, playing the game and laughing care-freely in the weak sunlight.

Sam yawned widely. Dean held onto the ball he was about to toss. Walking over to the blanket, Dean placed the ball on the blanket beside Monroe, before going to Sam and pulling him to the blanket. "Lie down Sammy" Dean said. It didn't take a lot of convincing on Dean's part. Sam laid down. "I'll be right here" Dean answered the unvoiced concern, sitting down beside Sam and taking Monroe in his arms.

Sam watched Dean as he looked out over the water.

Feeling that his heart couldn't expand any larger, with all the love and emotion he was feeling for Dean, Sam's eyes slipped closed. He wasn't asleep but his mind was drifting. The sand underneath the blanket was damp but not uncomfortable, there was a light wind blowing and the sun felt good on his face.

Knowing that this special time with Dean was a gift that came about in such a tragic way weighed heavily on Sam's mind.

At some point, the cocky older brother who he fell in love with and adored with every ounce of his being would come back to him.

Until then, Sam was doing everything possible to give Dean, the Dean he was now, everything that he had in terms of his love, devotion and understanding.

He knew beyond any certainty, that Dean, without fail, would do the exact same thing for him.

Sam couldn't quite get over having Dean open up to him in such an honest manner, no guards or masks or pretending. Sam was being given a unique insight into Dean's inner most feelings.

Respecting the fact about how this came to be, Sam was not inclined to pry, but anything Dean offered freely, was soaked up and treasured.

He cherished his older brother and was doing everything he could to make sure Dean was safe, which is why Sam reacted out of fear and dread when he opened his eyes and looked over just in time to see Dean popping some berries from the pile he'd collected into his mouth. Not knowing which berries Dean was picking, caused Sam to overreact.

"DEAN!" Sam screamed, startling Dean so badly, that he dropped all the berries he'd carefully selected.

"How many did you eat?" Sam questioned as he ran to Dean and grabbed his shoulders, momentarily forgetting about Dean's shoulder injury. Wincing slightly, Dean looked up at Sam with stained blue lips and heartbroken eyes. "I might have forgotten lots of stuff Sam, but I didn't forget about what blueberries look like" Dean said, uttering desperate little sounds as if Sam had struck him.

"I was getting them for you, because I know you like them" Dean's voice broke with this statement and his bottom lip began to tremble as he lowered his head and looked at the spilled berries all over the ground.

The rains chose this moment to return, pounding down without warning and stinging the skin in its fierceness.

Woefully looking back up at Sam, Dean turned and started walking back up the path to their place, leaving Sam standing there in the driving rain.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean jumped when he heard the back door slam shut. Sam was either royally pissed or most likely very upset. Hearing Sam come into the bedroom, Dean kept his eyes shut. "Dean?" Sam whispered. Dean could feel Sam standing close to the bed and a wet Monroe being placed close to him. He didn't respond.

"Aww shit" Sam thought as he looked down and saw the torn jean material on Dean's leg. Bending forward, Sam separated the fabric, gently pulling it back and viewing the cut on Dean's knee. Shaking his head, Sam's eyes wandered up the rest of Dean's body, taking in the cuts and scrapes on Dean's hands and the scratches on his face.

"Fucking hell" Sam muttered, angry that Dean had to endure yet more pain.

"Dean, I know you're mad at me, but please, please, please let me help you out of those wet clothes. You're going to get sick if you don't get out of them" Sam pleaded.

Not saying a word, Dean rose slowly to his feet, keeping his head down and let Sam undress him. Taking off Dean's shoes first, followed by his clothing, Sam got a good look at the gash on Dean's knee. It was in need of attention, but Sam didn't want to push his luck.

Sam then dressed Dean in the shirt he'd grabbed before heading into the bedroom. Buttoning a few buttons, Sam then reached around, stripped off the wet top blanket, made sure the under-sheets were dry, flipped the pillow over, grabbed the wet clothing and quietly left the room.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

The mood in the house was raw and unsettling. Sam was lying on the couch. At some point Dean had come into the kitchen.

Sam was awake and watching Dean with growing concern.

Dean was sitting at the kitchen table, head resting on his outstretched arm, listlessly running his finger through the spilled sugar from earlier.

"What are you thinking about?" Sam wondered.

He continued to watch as Dean straightened up; grimacing silently at what was obviously pain from his knee. Sam's heart cracked when he saw Dean place his hand over his cut knee and rock back and forth slightly in the chair, his face contorted in pain.

Dean could fight him all he wanted, but Sam was going to treat that knee.

Coming up quietly and sitting down cross-legged in front of his guy, Sam reached out his hand and placed it over Dean's

Dean tensed but didn't try to pull away, instead, he stood up, turned around and practically collapsed down into Sam.

Burying his face against Sam's neck, Dean began to let out these heartbroken little sobs. "I…I…fell" he wailed, as all the hurt and fright poured forth.

Wiggling them back across the short distance on the floor, Sam braced his back against the kitchen cupboards and pressed Dean close.

"Sssh…it's going to be okay Dean" Sam cried gently, rocking Dean against him. "I'm going to get you all fixed up" Sam promised.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

After Sam got Dean re-seated on the chair and had gotten the medical kit, his hands were still shaking. Seeing Dean in any distress was simply becoming too much for Sam to bear.

"Ready?" Sam asked. "Ready" Dean replied. The ointment stung terribly. Dean inhaled deeply. "Okay babe, okay. We're almost done" Sam calmed as he applied a bandage over the area. "You did so well."

Dean held out his hands, palms up, for Sam's inspection. "These too?" he asked. "I have a special way to make these better" Sam grinned as he tenderly took one then the other to his lips and ensured they were amply covered with all better kisses.

Raising himself up on his knees, Sam cupped Dean's face. "There are two more areas, right here" Sam murmured as he applied feather light kisses to the two scratches "that need special attention also".

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean was cradled in the crook of Sam's arm, spread out on the couch, wrapped loosely in a warm blanket. Sam was looking down at him. "Tomorrow, we're going to have a party, Dean. You, me and Monroe, and you know what kind of party it's going to be?" Sam asked an excited looking brother, who shook his head no. "It's going to be a Just Because party" Sam stated. "Just Because?" Dean looked confused. "Umm-hmm, Just Because I love you" Sam beamed at Dean.

Dean looked delighted. "Sammy loves me and we're going to have a party" Dean smiled. "Can we have hamburgers and cupcakes and can you give me a bath?" Dean asked, tumbling over his words in his excitement to get them out.

"That sounds like a plan I can work with" Sam confirmed, enjoying the excitement radiating from Dean.

Turning his head so Sam couldn't see his face, Dean asked another question. "Can…can you and I love each other, like we did the other day?" Dean asked softly.

Sam's heart tingled at Dean's words. Shaking Dean ever so gently to get Dean to look at him, Sam looked into the eyes of the delicate life he was holding and helping to rebuild and smiled.

Dean shifted out of Sam's arms and sat beside him on the couch. Taking hold of Sam's face and pulling it to him, Dean came up close, so close, that their noses were almost touching. "Could the cupcakes have that sugar stuff on them?" he asked hopefully, leaning in a bit closer and placing his lips against Sam's. Feeling Sam's lips spread into a smile, Dean knew that tomorrow was going to be a very fine day.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

They stayed snuggled up on the couch together, wrapped up in each other.

Dean was rubbing at his ear again. "Your ear sore, buddy?" Sam asked in concern, reaching out and stroking it. "Just a little" Dean responded, casting Sam a mild smile.

"It's still early, but what about climbing into bed for awhile and having a rest" Sam suggested, hoping Dean would go for it. "Okay Sammy" Dean responded without hesitation, standing up and waiting for Sam.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Lying facing each other, under the folds of the heavy bedding, their breathing slowed and synced.

Dean moved as close to Sam as he possibly could. Sam was rubbing Dean's sore ear. Dean was fighting falling asleep. His eyes kept sliding shut, only to re-open seconds later. He was also struggling with the urge to put his thumb in his mouth.

Continuing to stroke Dean, Sam watched as Dean's eyes finally slipped closed. He wasn't quite asleep yet, but almost was, as he brought his thumb up to his mouth again, this time sliding it in. Endearing was an understatement as far as Sam was concerned when it came to Dean and the person he was now.

Sam moved his hand down and cupped Dean's elbow in place, effectively making sure Dean kept his thumb in his mouth and hopefully taking the comfort he so badly needed.

Sam was falling more and more in love. He was freefalling and drowning in a sea of loving emotion.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Madame, are you sure you will be okay here? Is there somewhere else I can drop you off?" the driver asked, glancing around at the bleak area.

"Thank you for your concern, but I will be just fine" Rainbow responded as she took her satchel from the driver's outstretched hand and began to proceed down the road.

She needed to make one very important stop before she reached where she was going to be needed. The time was almost at hand.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Caspian, might I see you for a moment please" the elderly gentleman called out to his grandson from the back room.

Making his way to the back, Caspian looked down at his grandfather who was seated behind his large desk.

"My dear boy, are you sure you recorded everything correctly?" his grandfather asked, as he raised the book slightly to allow Caspian a better view.

"Why yes grandfather, I was extra careful when I listed everything. There were so many of the items that I was unfamiliar with, that I took extra caution. Did I do something wrong?" Caspian asked in concern.

"Not at all precious fellow. It's simply been many years since these types of herbs have been used. Combined together, they have incredible healing properties, but as you may expect, not necessarily for what the average person would consider a traditional use.

By chance, was there anything unusual or different you noticed about the person requesting these items?" the grandfather asked.

"Why yes, there was now that you mention it" Caspian pondered, his mouth open to continue, until his grandfather held up his hand.

"My guess is that it was a woman with rainbow coloured hair" his grandfather ventured. Caspian gaped at him. "How did you know?" he asked incredulously.

The grandfather looked at his grandson and smiled. "You, my dear boy, had the great honour of serving the High Priestess of Healing. I'm ever so sorry I missed Rainbow. There are two things to know here, Caspian. One, whoever is in need of healing, has been through unspeakable horror and terror. Two, with Rainbow going to attempt the healing, the battle is already halfway to being won, for the individual in question" the elder family member nodded knowingly.

To be continued.

**Author's Note: **Hello friends, thank you so very much for your heartwarming support of this story. I am truly touched by your generous spirits and understanding of what I am hoping to convey with this story. Thank you. : )


	9. Dazzle and Delight

Screaming Peonies

**Chapter Nine – Dazzle and Delight**

"I'm sorry, Dean, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I know the blueberries were for me. Please don't be mad" Sam moaned, lost in the throes of a deep dream, bordering on becoming a nightmare.

"Sam...Sammy, I'm not mad" Dean whispered out in the darkness. "Dean, please don't be angry" Sam continued on, tossing and turning. Dean placed an arm over Sam's chest and tried to still him. "Oh Sammy, no, I'm not mad at you" Dean tried to soothe, but it wasn't working. Sam was getting more upset by the moment.

Fumbling with the buttons on his shirt and trying to soothe Sam at the same time was not working. Ripping his shirt wide, Dean opened it up. "Here Sammy, here" Dean said gently, guiding Sam's face to his chest and hopefully the comfort that this loving action had provided many times before.

"Dean?" Sam slurred. "I'm here, Sammy, I got ya" Dean said tenderly as he tilted Sam's chin. Dean then adjusted one arm under his head and the other around Sam's shoulders. "You're going to be fine. I love you, Sammy. You stay here for as long as you need" Dean whispered to Sam, who was slowly settling down into a less troubled sleep.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam was up and about really early the next morning. It was going to be a big day today and he wanted to get an early start. He was feeling calm and peaceful and looking forward to the day's festivities.

He was snuggled up good and tight against Dean, who was sound asleep and snoring softly. Opening his eyes, the first thing Sam noted was Dean's torn shirt, the second thing he observed was the slight swelling and redness around one of Dean's nipples. Like a flash, fragments of last night came back to him.

Gently tracing his finger over the sensitive nub, Sam then leaned in and kissed it, before sliding out of bed.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

After dressing in not one but two of his flannel shirts and a pair of boxers, Sam walked into the kitchen, flipped on the light and opened the freezer. The abundance of food was staggering. It was almost like having a supermarket right in your own kitchen.

Pulling out two bags of milk, Sam placed them in the fridge to thaw.

Routing around deeper in the freezer, Sam found the pre-made hamburger patties he'd seen earlier, as well as the rosemary topped hamburger buns. Placing these in the sink to thaw, Sam then went in search of the cupcake mix and icing sugar. Similar to the freezer, the food pantry was equally well stocked.

Spying the mix and sugar, Sam placed these on the counter for use later on, along with a package of chocolate chips and pancake mix. Lastly, Sam heated up the griddle and while it was heating, he set the table for breakfast.

He was thoroughly enjoying himself as he pulled out a few of the metal cookie cutters from the drawer. Taking down a bowl and measuring cup, Sam measured out the pancake mix and added the required ingredients, including the all important chocolate chips. Pouring the mixture onto the griddle, Sam watched it bubble and thought to himself that this is what it must be like for an average person to go about all the little and normal things that make a life into a series of warm times, doing things for the one you love.

After making four large griddle size pancakes, Sam then cut them out into the various cookie cutter shapes. Deciding that it was necessary to taste one of his creations, Sam selected a star shaped pancake, loaded with chocolate chips. "Delicious" he offered to the empty room, as he wrapped them up in tin foil for later on.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

In Sam's heart, he wanted this day to be everything wonderful, magical and special for Dean. He was planning on loads of tender moments, loving looks and warm touches.

Endearments, light laughter and overall caring were going to be the order for this day.

Of course, they'd shared moments of these types of feelings over the course of their relationship, as well as also enjoying themselves in the other extreme, when terminology such as bitch and jerk were used in place of sweetheart or babe, when motel rooms were filled with the scent of sex and sin and being thrown onto the bed with wild thrusts and guttural moans slicing the air.

On this day though, it was going to be packed full of everything that Sam was feeling in his heart for the person he loved the most.

The only question that was niggling at Sam's mind, as he rooted around in his duffle for the bottle of lube, was how far to go with Dean. Was Dean ready for 'going all the way'? Would it be too much for him?

Retrieving the familiar bottle, Sam stood up and smiled when he thought of the last time they'd used it. Dean had been standing in the bathroom doorway, a dirty grin spreading across his face. "Hey baby" he purred as he wiggled his eyebrows at Sam and held up the lube.

Sam still remembered the soreness from that encounter, even with the lube and Dean subsequently applying all better kisses to the region in question, when he had seen Sam limping slightly the next day.

Coming back to the present, Sam placed the lube on the floor and then got down on the floor too.

Fifty push-ups later, Sam was sweating. Standing up, he proceeded to do fifty jumping jacks. By the time he was done, he could feel the sweat trickling down his skin.

Undoing his shirts and taking a whiff of one of his underarms, Sam knew Dean was going to be one happy guy. The pheromones were cooperating fully.

Scooping up the lube, Sam went in search of the man who owned his heart.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean hadn't moved. He was still in the same position that Sam had left him in earlier.

Stripping everything off and tossing the lube onto the clothing heap, Sam climbed silently into the bed and laid there, thoroughly enjoying his view of Dean.

Lifting his arms over his head and moving closer to Dean, Sam waited and waited. Dean just kept sleeping on. Flipping on his side, Sam stroked ever so gently at the little lines creasing Dean's brow. "Dean, you gonna wake up for me?" Sam whispered softly. Dean instinctively moved closer to Sam's voice.

Simply not being able to help himself, Sam kissed those loving lips in the gentlest of ways.

"_Love you so much_" Sam murmured, as his lips trailed lightly down Dean's neck, coming to rest in the dip of Dean's uninjured shoulder, before following the same path back up.

Sleep heavy eyes tried hard to open. "There's my guy" Sam chuckled lightly, as the green pupils became more focussed.

"Good morning, Sammy" Dean's sleep rough voice greeted. "Thanks for taking care of me last night" Sam said softly. Clearing his throat and blinking a few times, Dean then smiled at Sam.

"Feel better?" Dean asked. "Much better" Sam whispered as he bent lower and began to nuzzle Dean's neck.

"I like that" Dean advised as he stretched his neck up. "Glad to hear it" Sam murmured.

Before Sam had any type of opportunity to begin using his hands in slow loving of Dean, his big brother started to squirm, and not in a good way.

"Everything okay?" Sam finally asked in concern. "I have to go for a pee, REAL BAD" Dean groaned. Sam smiled with relief. "Well I guess you better go then. Hurry back."

Before Dean climbed out of bed, he lifted one of Sam's arms above his head, bent in and inhaled deeply, before kissing the area and moving quickly to the bathroom.

"I'm back" Dean grinned as he looked around the room for Sam a few minutes later. Spying a suspicious looking mound under the bedding, Dean went over and stood beside Sam's side of the bed. As he was about to reach out and pull back the covers, Sam beat him to it. "BOO!" he yelled, grabbing Dean and pulling him down on top of him.

Enjoying the rumble of his brother's laughter, Sam clasped Dean tighter to him. "Not going to let you go" Sam said. "Promise?" Dean asked. "Promise" Sam confirmed.

Dean was looking down at his little brother with eyes full of love. Sam rolled them over, so that Dean was halfway underneath him.

Resuming his earlier position, Sam began to nuzzle at Dean's neck, as one of his hands trailed lightly over trembling flesh. Using small circular motions, Sam feel the goose-bumps start and Dean responding to him in a loving way.

"You like that? Do you want me to keep doing it?" Sam whispered as he pulled back slightly to get a good look at Dean. Love filled eyes searched Sam's face, before meeting his gaze. Smiling meekly, Dean nodded. Sam smiled back at him. A smile filled with all the love and tenderness and affection that was coursing through him.

A fragile and trusting older brother, eyes wide with anticipation, sure in the knowledge that Sammy would not hurt him, placed his hand over Sam's and encouraged the move downward.

Dean was feeling all kinds of wonderful with having Sam's hand where it was and doing what it was doing. Sam was feeling pretty great himself, as Dean gripped him lightly and began to rub.

Sam moved his knee between Dean's legs, mindful of Dean's knee injury. The position gave them both better leverage at handling the other.

"Love you, baby" Sam voiced as his body strained into Dean's touching. Dean pumped Sam harder and harder. "Fuck...Dean...I can't wait, I'm going to..." Sam came quickly, thrusting into Dean's hand over and over as waves of release surged through him.

Panting heavily, Sam kissed Dean deeply, his tongue caressing in long strokes. Whimpering at the stimulation he was receiving, Dean wiggled beneath Sam's touch, arching up and against Sam as he came, panting Sam's name with each upward motion.

The frenzied pace slowed as rapid breathing returned to normal. Wrapped up in each other, gentle petting was enhanced with lingering kisses and slow stroking.

Sleep came for the second time within twenty-four hours and claimed two very bliss filled and contented brothers.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

By the time they woke up, it was well past noon. Breakfast had become lunch and the day was going too quickly.

"I gotta moon, Sam" Dean exclaimed as he held up the syrup laden pancake. "You make the best pancakes, you even put chocolate in them" Dean continued on, pursing his lips in the most adorable way for a kiss. Reaching over, Sam kissed Dean slowly and fully.

"After we're done eating, did you want to help me make the cupcakes?" Sam asked. "Oh yeah and Monroe can help too" Dean stated as he looked over at the little dog sitting at his spot at the table and smiled warmly.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Can you get the milk from the fridge?" Sam asked a short time later.

Dean opened the fridge door and looked inside. Frowning, he pulled out a bowl instead of the milk and held it against him.

Sam's back was turned to him. "Can you find it, buddy?"

Dean waited for Sam to turn around.

"Dean?" Sam questioned as he turned.

Looking at the bowl and its contents and then at Dean, Sam's face took on a troubled look. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you about the blueberries. I wish it had never happened. And then, because of me, you fell. You'll never know how bad I feel. I picked up all the berries that fell and brought them back with me. I haven't had a chance to clean them yet" Sam's voice trailed off as he lifted his hands helplessly. "I'm sorry".

Dean looked down at the berries, covered with sand and dirt and twigs, many of them squashed.

Placing the bowl on the table he walked over to Sam.

Sam's head was down. Dean came in close to Sam and bent lower, turning his face up so he could see Sam. Turning his lips down, Dean pulled a sad face. It was enough, as a small smile played at Sam's lips. Moving the necessary inch closer, Dean pressed his lips to Sam's. The kiss clung and stayed, caught in a soothing moment of time, before Dean pulled Sam against him, positioning Sam just right, so that Sam's head was resting on his shoulder.

"_Love my Sammy_" Dean hummed as he petted Sam's hair.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

It was amazing that any cupcakes actually made it into the oven to bake, as Dean insisted on trying out the batter more than once. Holding up fingers covered with the liquid, he made sure Sam got to try it too. Placing them in the oven to bake, Sam set the timer.

Things got even better when they made the icing. For some reason, Dean wanted the icing for the cupcakes to be in pink, so pink was what they were.

"_Oh, this is so good_" Dean told Sam as he licked the beaters from the mixer, effectively covering his face with the pink icing.

Dean was sitting on Sam's lap. Sam watched his big brother fondly, enjoying the innocence and joy of the moment. "Here Sam" Dean laughed as he held out one of the beaters for Sam to lick. "It's good, huh?" Dean questioned. "The best" Sam agreed.

After Dean had completely licked the icing away, he looked at Sam and smiled.

"You're just too cute" Sam hummed as he kissed away the remaining icing off of Dean's face and hands.

"You are too, Sammy" Dean said shyly, wrapping his arms around Sam's neck and proceeding to kiss the tiny moles on Sam's face.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

While the cupcakes baked, Sam suggested some dancing.

Turning on the radio and fiddling until he found just the right song, Sam then opened his arms wide for Dean. "C'mere Dean" he asked, as Styx's _These Are the Best of Times_ began. Dean shifted easily into the loving arms and leaned his head against Sam's shoulder.

Sam began to move them in a slow rhythm, nothing rushed, every movement soft and easy. Running his hands over Dean's flannel covered rib cage and coming to rest lightly on his hips, Sam closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of having Dean alive and warm against him.

They continued to hold each other long after the music was finished, breaking only when the oven alarm sounded.

After the cupcakes had been removed, left to cool, iced with the pink frosting and then tried out with large glasses of milk, Sam suggested giving Dean a bath, just like he wanted on his 'Just Because I Love You' day.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Running the bath water, Sam poured in an overly generous amount of the patchouli and orange scented bath bubbles. The room was quickly engulfed in the comforting scent. The bubbles grew and expanded and threatened to climb over the edge of the tub. "Perfect" Sam exclaimed happily. "Dean, your bath is ready."

Sam laughed as he heard the chair scrape back and two feet moving swiftly in his direction. "WOW!" Dean yelled from the doorway, taking in the multitude of bubbles. Placing Monroe on the sink counter, Sam then helped Dean slip out of his clothes and into the bath. Dean disappeared into the bubbles, all that could be heard was his delighted laughter and splashing.

Knowing there was no way he was going to stay dry, Sam took off his own shirt. "Monroe, have you seen Dean?" Sam questioned. "I hope all the bubbles didn't eat him" Sam continued on, as he slipped his hands into the foam and began his search.

"Well, I wonder what we have here?" Sam laughed, as he touched Dean's arm and began sliding his hands here and there, soap slicked and slippery. Stopping and resting both hands on Dean's stomach, Sam enjoyed the feel of Dean's laughter through his hands.

"You're funny, Sammy" Dean giggled as his head resurfaced through the bubbles. "And that's why you love me" Sam agreed as he kissed bubble covered lips.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Look" Dean exclaimed from the couch a while later, holding up his hands to Sam. "See, they have wrinkles on them". Putting the medical kit and lotion down beside him, Sam took Dean's hands and kissed them with great affection.

After re-dressing Dean's knee injury, Sam washed his hands and returned to Dean. Gathering the bottle, he opened the lid and held it to Dean's nose. "Doesn't this smell good, it's just like your bath bubbles" Sam explained, smiling as Dean took a deep whiff. "Why don't you lie down and I'll put some on you" Sam said. "Okay, Sammy" Dean agreed as he laid down on his stomach.

Sam started at Dean's feet and slowly moved up the firm legs, to Dean's buttocks, back and then his shoulders and neck, paying special attention to this area. If there happened to be a more relaxed person at the moment, Dean wasn't sure who it could be. "Can you turn onto your back for me" Sam whispered softly. Dean flipped over.

This time he started with Dean's chest and worked downwards. Taking extra time with Dean's injured side, Sam ran the lotion around in light circles over the puckered flesh, before moving down to Dean's pelvic region and rubbing the lotion in firmer strokes, just brushing the tip of the fringe of pubic hair.

Dean let out a little gasp and his body began to display the feelings his mind was experiencing. Sam couldn't help but notice Dean's cock becoming stiffer and more engorged. Saving this delectable area for last, Sam gathered more of the lotion and ran it down well muscled thighs, roped calves and sturdy feet.

Rubbing the remaining cream into his hands, Sam moved so that he was more positioned over Dean's groin area. Dean lifted his head and was watching him, not sure what Sam was going to do. Smiling up at his older brother, Sam then strategically placed his hands, one at the base of Dean's pelvis and the other coming to rest just under Dean's growing shaft.

Bending forward, Sam kissed the tip of Dean's penis. The explosion of emotion that simple gesture invoked ran right through Dean's total nervous system, a loud keen escaping from him. Sam couldn't help but smile.

Wetting his lips, Sam went to work loving Dean.

Running his tongue gently over the slit, Sam then pulled the head into his mouth and began to suckle. Bucking up into Sam's mouth, Dean couldn't get enough of the sensation he was feeling. "Sam...Sammy...uh..." Dean panted.

As Sam had suspected, it wasn't going to take much to get Dean to come. Tasting his big brother's pre-cum running down his throat and Dean's hands snaking into his hair, desperate for relief, Sam pulled Dean's dick all the way into his mouth and sucked deeply.

It was becoming more of a struggle to hold Dean down as Sam worked his magic. Pulling back slightly, Sam resumed working Dean's tip. "SAM" Dean cried out as he came in wild thrusts and warm fluid, cum spraying out of Sam's mouth and covering them both.

Sam continued to pay loving attention to Dean, extracting all the delicious little after-tingles from his brother's body. Finally satisfied, Sam removed his mouth from Dean and looked up at his dazed guy.

"Sammy" Dean slurred, as Sam's lips made their way up Dean's body, finally coming to rest against Dean's. "Oh, Sam" was all Dean managed to get out, struggling to wrap his arms around his little brother. Sam huffed a laugh. "Love you, baby" he whispered.

Dean was feeling all warm and happy and sated. Unconsciously rubbing at his sore ear, wasn't missed by Sam.

"Your ear is still sore, huh?" Sam said, reaching out and tenderly tugging at Dean's earlobe. "It hurts" Dean responded, tilting his head towards Sam's touch. "How about I put some drops in it for you. That'll make it feel better" Sam said, leaving Dean for a few moments while he went and washed his hands, got the drops, one of his sweat scented shirts, a wet towel and a piece of cotton batton.

Coming back, Sam cleaned Dean up, helped his well loved brother to sit up and then kneeled facing him. Sam rubbed the container between his hands to warm it up. "Okay, can you tilt your head, fella" Sam asked. Dean did as he was asked and Sam put in the required drops and then closed the opening with the cotton.

"That should do the trick" Sam advised, kissing the tip of Dean's nose. Dean's eyes were beginning to cross, he just wanted to close them and sleep. Groaning as Sam lifted his arms to get on his shirt, Dean's head lolled, causing Sam to laugh. "Someone is down for the count" he surmised as Dean's body was almost like liquid fluid beneath his touch. Dean felt way too relaxed to move off the couch. Falling sideways, he let out a contented sigh as he tugged the shirt Sam had put on him closer to his face. Sam crouched down, so they were facing each other. "I think somebody could use a nap" he said smiling. "Umm hmm, me too" Dean agreed as his eyes were drifting closed.

Reaching over Dean, Sam pulled down the blanket resting on the back of the couch and tucked Dean in good and tight with it.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

After getting supper ready and placing it in the oven to keep warm, Sam pulled on a shirt over his boxers and opened the front door. Glancing over at Dean who was still sound asleep on the couch, Sam decided to sit on the veranda for a few minutes, getting some fresh air.

The Adirondack styled chair fit his frame well. It was comfortable and deep enough to accommodate his height, which didn't happen too often.

Watching the falling rain, Sam smiled when he thought of how well today was turning out. It was everything he had hoped it would be.

The setting was so peaceful and tranquil and it soaked into Sam's bones like a much needed liniment, welcome and soothing.

Sam had no idea how long he had been sitting there before he felt himself being watched. "Did you have a good nap?" Sam asked as he watched Dean walk to him, barefoot and wrapped up in the blanket, eyes still heavy from sleep.

Standing beside Sam's chair, Dean nodded. "Want to sit with me for awhile?" Sam asked, as he patted his lap.

Dean smiled lazily as he undid his blanket. Climbing into Sam's lap, Dean then pulled the blanket over the both of them, before snuggling up to Sam, who kissed his forehead and told him how much he loved him.

The beginnings of twilight were starting to stretch across the sky as the boys made their way back inside later on.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Awesome!" Dean expressed gleefully as Sam set the completely loaded burger down in front of him. Setting his own down next, Sam then sat down beside Dean.

"Want to try eating it like this, or do you want me to slice it in half?" Sam asked easily.

"I'm going to try it like this" Dean responded, lifting the burger and taking a humongous bite. Sam laughed warmly as he watched Dean's eyes roll back after the first bite.

"I'll take that as receiving your stamp of approval" Sam said, lovingly rubbing the nape of Dean's neck.

Taking a big gulp of milk before responding, Dean then looked over at Sam and gave him a mega watt smile, exhibiting the unbridled love and affection he had for Sam.

Right about this time, lightning could be seen through the kitchen window. This was followed by a thunderclap so loud, that Dean jumped in his seat and looked nervously at Sam as he stuffed the last of his hamburger into his mouth.

"That was sure loud. It scared me too" Sam said in a soothing voice, as he took hold of Dean's hand. It was pretty evident that the storm was just getting started and more importantly, that it was scaring Dean.

"Let's go hide under the covers" Sam suggested as he pulled Dean up and close to him. Wrapping his arm around Dean's shoulders, he kept him close as he made sure the door was locked and turned off the lights.

Climbing into bed, the brothers laid facing each other. Sam pulled the covers over their heads. It was a bad storm, the type where the thunder felt like it was just above your head and you hoped the lightning wouldn't fork through the window.

It was dark under the covers. Dean reached up and touched Sam's face. Running his fingertips over Sam's chin and lips, nose and eyes, Dean then circled and landed on one of those marvellous slash dimples that he adored so very much.

Running his thumb up and down the indent, Dean was just beginning to relax when there was a crack that made even Sam startle, almost like a huge piece of wood splintering somewhere inside the house.

"I better go and make sure everything is okay" Sam said, so close, that Dean could feel the breath from the words escaping and coming to rest on his face. "Do you want to come with me, or do you want to stay here? It'll take me just a minute" Sam said. "I'll wait here. Don't be long Sammy, I'm scared" Dean voiced.

Turning back the covers, Sam kissed Dean before replacing them back over Dean's head.

Walking around in the dark, Sam made his way through the house, finally coming to the little room. "Holy shit!" he cried out as his feet slipped out from underneath him.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Sammy" Dean called out from the bedroom. Receiving no response, he called out again. "Sam!" Still nothing.

Garnering his courage, Dean shakily got out of the bed and went looking for Sam. "Are you pretending to hide on me?" Dean laughed nervously, expecting Sam to jump out at him at any moment.

Arriving at the little room, Dean popped his head around the corner and saw Sam lying on the floor in the darkened room.

"I see you" Dean laughed, thinking it was a game. There was still no response from Sam, as Dean edged closer into the room.

To be continued.

**Author's Note: **Thank you _so_ very much for your support of this story. I feel very blessed that it has found the readers who are enjoying it, as much as I am. Thank you. :)


	10. Tatters and Tangles

**Chapter Ten – Tatters and Tangles**

Dean felt the cold water on his feet, each step trapping tiny pieces of wood underneath his soles.

The last crack of thunder scared Dean so badly, he almost lost his footing, as he made his way to Sam.

Wincing as he bent down, Dean laid his hands on Sam's chest. "Sammy, you need to wake up now" he said gently as he shook Sam lightly. "Please, Sammy...please wake-up" Dean cried, getting more upset when he received no response. He could feel Sam breathing under his hands, but why wasn't he opening his eyes?

Lying down beside his little brother, Dean rested his head on Sam's shoulder. The water was chilling and the tiny pieces of wood were denting his body. "Sam?" Dean tried again. There was still no reply.

"I don't know what to do, Sam. Please open your eyes, please Sam" Dean cried softly, heartbroken tiny sobs escaping through trembling lips.

The coldness was becoming unbearable as Dean sat up. If he was cold, then so was Sam and Dean decided he couldn't have that. He had to get Sam back to the bed and get him warm.

Dean tried so hard and struggled mightily to lift Sam up. He just didn't have it in him to lift Sam straight up off the floor and carry him into the bedroom. "Sam, I'm going to have to pull you to get you out of here" Dean groaned. "I'm going to try not to hurt you, k'ay" Dean advised as he took hold of Sam's feet and slowly started to pull his brother out of the room.

Taking his time and extra care to ensure he didn't hurt Sam by doing this, the task was painstakingly slow. Rounding the corners of the rooms took on a nerve wracking dimension as Dean did his best to make certain that Sam's head did not connect with the wood.

At last, Dean managed to get Sam into their bedroom. Dean got Sam onto the scatter rug and then sat down himself. Leaning back against the bed frame and catching his breath, Dean looked down worriedly at Sam. The lightning kept illuminating his pale face with each strike.

Dean got up and turned on the light. He remembered that Sam had said that it wasn't good to do that when there was lightning, but Dean needed to get a look at Sam.

"Sammy, you're so cold. I need to get you warm" Dean said as he began to peel off Sam's wet clothing. He then took off his own shirt and tossed the whole lot into the corner. Grabbing one of the bed blankets, Dean tenderly dried Sam off and then himself.

Dean looked helplessly around the room, there were no clean shirts left. He needed to get Sam warmed up and he remembered that body heat was the best way, but he also wanted to dress Sam in something to keep him warm.

Pulling out the drawers of one of the dressers that they themselves did not use and hadn't looked in since they got there, Dean came across some nightgowns. There was lots of room in them as Dean held them up and they felt like they would be nice and warm. Sam would kill him for dressing him in a ladies nightgown, but Dean was willing to take his chances.

"Okay, Sammy, this is going to help you stay warm" Dean whispered as he heaved Sam up and against his shoulder. It was like trying to push a rubber band through a needle hole, with lots of manoeuvring and adjusting, but finally, Dean got it on Sam.

Sam's hair was wet and as Dean stroked it back from Sam's face, he felt the lump at the base of Sam's skull.

"Oh no, Sammy, you got hurt" Dean wailed, the tears slipping past the tight ball in his throat and brimming over his cheeks. "Monroe, Sammy's hurt" Dean cried out. Gently bending Sam's head forward, Dean leaned in and kissed the raised area, over and over. "All better kisses, make things all better" Dean gulped to the quiet room.

Reaching one arm back to the bed, Dean grabbed a pillow and pulled it down. Placing it on the rug, Dean then lowered Sam onto it. He slipped on the other nightgown and pulled down the bedding, toppling Monroe over the side and onto the floor beside Sam's head. "Good doggie, you take care of Sam too" Dean said, as he adjusted the blankets over Sam and went and turned off the light.

Scrambling under the covers, Dean placed Monroe on the other side of Sam and then pulled the covers up and over the three of them. Aside from being under the bed and riding out the storm, this was Dean's best plan.

Dean went to hike his leg over Sam and found he couldn't. Tugging the nightgown up past his waist solved the problem. Wrapping one leg over Sam's thighs, Dean shifted in as close to Sam as he could get.

"I love you so, so much, Sammy" Dean cooed as he placed little kisses over the side of Sam's face. Very tenderly rubbing the injured area, Dean ran his fingertips over and over in soothing circles.

Painful moans escaped through Sam's lips, filling their confined area. "Awww...God...my head" Sam groaned.

"Sammy" Dean couldn't suppress his overwhelming relief at the voice he knew so well. "You fell down and hurt yourself" Dean said quietly, continuing his ministrations. "Dean...are you okay?" Sam's voice trailed off.

"I will be now" Dean thought as his lips danced lightly over Sam's, once, twice and then a third time for good measure.

"Monroe, did you hear that, Sammy spoke" Dean whispered, beneath the covers.

Dean just kept right on doing what he had been doing, sharing all his love with Sammy. It would get them through the long and scary night, Dean knew, as he nuzzled at Sam's cheek.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam had moaned and murmured throughout the rest of the night. Dean took this as a good sign. As long as Sammy was doing that, he would come back to him and that helped to take some of the fear away, until Dean heard a knock at the door.

His heart began to beat wildly and his pulse points started to race. "What am I going to do?" Dean thought in a panic. "Sam?...Sam? There's someone at the door" Dean said nervously into Sam's ear. There was no reaction and the soft knocking continued.

"Monroe, we need to protect Sam. You gotta come to the door with me" Dean whispered as he reached over Sam and pulled Monroe to him. Standing up, Dean re-covered Sam and creeped to the front door. The thunder and lightning had stopped, but it was still raining, as the weak dawn struggled to filter through the windows.

"Hello" a soft voice sounded from the other side. "Is anyone home?" It was a woman's voice and Dean felt a comforting feeling seeping in. "Hello" he called back in a low voice.

"Well hello there. I bet you must be Dean" the nice voice said. "How did you know?" Dean asked in amazement. "Because I'm here to help you, sweetheart. Can you open the door for me?" the same voice asked.

"You promise you're not going to hurt Sammy or me or Monroe?" Dean asked, needing to be sure. "I promise, my precious. You have nothing to fear from me."

Dean slowly undid the door latch and opened the door a fraction to peek out. Blinking rapidly, his eyes took in a kind looking woman with a lot of different colours in her hair. "Hello, Dean. I'm Rainbow" she said, smiling widely.

Dean felt it in his heart, he knew this woman could be trusted. Opening the door widely, he stood there in the pink flannel nightgown he was wearing, clutching Monroe closely to him and invited Rainbow in. Rainbow entered, dropped her satchel on the floor and pulled Dean to her. "You've had quite the journey my darling love. I admire you greatly" she whispered as she released Dean. "And who do we have here?" Rainbow inquired as she patted Monroe. "His name is Monroe. Sammy got him for me. He got hurt when a fire spark got him, but Sam put some stuff on him and then a band aid and he's feeling better now" Dean filled Rainbow in on Monroe's recent history.

Rainbow tilted her head as she observed Dean. "You certainly do love _your_ Sammy." Dean looked down at the floor and then back at Rainbow, nodding shyly. "With all my heart" he whispered. "I know you do, sweetie and I know that Sammy loves you back just as much."

Dean frowned as he continued to look at Rainbow. "Sammy got hurt and he's got a big bump on his head. Can you help him and make him better?" Dean asked. "Please."

"How about you take me to Sam now and I'll see what I can do. I'm sensing though that you have taken extra special care of your little brother and that he's going to be okay" Rainbow said, smiling as she lifted her satchel in one hand and took Dean's hand in the other, following him into the bedroom.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sitting cross-legged beside Sam, Dean was intently observing everything that Rainbow was doing. While he did trust her, when it came to Sam, he was on high alert.

After careful examination, Rainbow leaned back on her haunches and started to root through her bag, coming up with a small brown glass container. Opening the lid she took some of the cream onto her fingertips and held it out for Dean to smell. "Doesn't it smell divine?" Rainbow enthused. "It's made from Goji berries and Rosemary. I'm going to put it on Sam's injury and it will help to bring down the swelling and make Sam wake up quicker" Rainbow explained as she gently rubbed the cream onto the injured area.

Rubbing the remainder of the cream onto her skirt, she smiled at Dean. "These floral patterned skirts are great, you can wipe anything on them and no one can tell" she laughed and for the first time, saw some of the tension leave Dean's face as he joined her in the laughter.

"You have done such a wonderful job of taking care of Sam" Rainbow congratulated him. "I'd like to try and bring him around and since we're both here, I'm thinking maybe we can get Sam onto the bed. Are you up to giving it a try?" Rainbow asked and Dean nodded.

Rising, Rainbow turned to Dean. "Did you just hear my bones creaking? I must be getting older than I thought" she laughed out loud. "You're a fun lady, Rainbow" Dean advised, smiling. "Why thank you sir" she accepted the compliment as she patted Dean's shoulder.

Replacing the bedding neatly on the bed, between the two of them, with Monroe standing guard, they were able to get Sam positioned onto the bed and covered up with blankets. "I'd like to have Sam rest for a bit before I rouse him. Dean, could you do me a big favour and climb in beside Sam and hold him? He needs to feel the comfort of a loved one. I'll go get my things set-up in the kitchen and then I'll be back. Can I take little Monroe here for company?" Rainbow asked. "Be good for Rainbow, Monroe" Dean said as he climbed in beside Sam.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Rainbow took in the sight of the kitchen as she stood there. The storm must have scared one or both of them she thought as she set about cleaning it up before pulling out her working instruments and placing them on the table.

Monroe sat at his spot, Rainbow was glad of the company. Stuffed or not, little dogs make good companions.

Washing her hands and shaking them dry, Rainbow set about crumbling tarragon and thyme leaves into her wooden bowl. Cutting open a lemon, Rainbow squeezed the fragrant liquid over the leaves.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Rainbow's going to make you all better. Gee, she's a real nice lady. I like her. Wait till you see her hair, it's just like her name, Sam, it's got all the rainbow colours" Dean explained as he traced the outline of Sam's jaw with his fingertip.

"Okay sweet pea, let's get Sammy to wake-up" Rainbow said as she entered the room and placed the bowl on the bed table. "What I need you to do for me is to wiggle yourself behind Sam. I'm going to hold Sam up so you can get in behind him and then you'll need to wrap your arms around him. He's going to be nervous when we get him awake and you'll be like the anchor that helps to keep him in place" Rainbow explained as she slowly pulled Sam up and Dean got in behind him. Laying Sam down against his older brother, Dean wrapped his arms around Sam and kissed the side of his face.

Rainbow sat on the edge of the bed and took her bowl in hand. Holding it up to Sam's nose, she watched as his nostrils flared with the smell. Running it back and forth under his nose until she heard the moaning start, Rainbow then placed the bowl back on the table.

"Sam, it's time to wake-up. Dean needs to see your smiling face again. Sam, open your eyes for me. You need to open them now" Rainbow said over the increasingly loud moans. Dean looked nervously down at Sam and then at Rainbow. "Sammy, open your eyes. C'mon Sam, you can do it" Dean said encouragingly.

"There we are. Hello Sam" Rainbow greeted as a pair of dazed eyes tried hard to focus. "Sam, you're back" Dean cried out happily. Sam grabbed the back of his head and squeezed his eyes shut in pain, tiny tears escaping through the corners before trying to heave himself up from his current position. "Easy Sam, easy. Ride it out, just breathe deeply, in and out...in and out" Rainbow counselled as he clasped Sam's hands.

"It hurts" Sam slurred as he turned his head and buried his face into Dean. "I know it does Sammy, I know" Dean consoled, kissing Sam's face. "Open your eyes, Sam" Rainbow asked. Sam opened them on command and this time appeared to look more directly at Rainbow. "Rainbow, is that you?" he asked unsurely. "In the flesh" she smiled. "You had quite the fall young man. Dean took excellent care of you" Rainbow explained, smiling across at the two faces before her. "Dean" Sam whispered as he felt the familiar nuzzling at the side of his face. "You okay?" Sam asked in concern. "If you're okay, I'm okay" Dean explained, much to Sam's relief.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

As the day moved forward, Sam was becoming more coherent. With much prodding, Rainbow was finally able to convince Dean to help her get some things ready in the kitchen. She wanted a few moments alone with Sam, to truly see how he was. She'd left Dean squeezing the juice of lemons into a bowl.

"It hurts like hell, Rainbow, but I'll live" Sam responded in answer to Rainbow's question. "Thanks for taking care of Dean and me" Sam said with genuine appreciation. "You're more than welcome my love. Dean did the lion's share of the work" Rainbow explained as she went on to fill Sam in on all the details since her arrival.

"There is someone very, very anxious to get back to you my darling" Rainbow chuckled as she stood up from the side of the bed and looked down at a smiling Sam, eager for that special someone to make an appearance and take up the empty space in his waiting arms.

They didn't have to wait long. Turning towards the sound at the bedroom door, there stood the object of their discussion, smiling shyly as he made his way into the room and leaned against the wall.

"You gonna stay there or are you gonna come here?" Sam asked warmly, throwing his arms wide open. Dean launched himself off the wall and into those welcoming arms. Wrapping his arms around Sam, Dean cuddled in good and close, burying his face against Sam's chest.

"I'll leave you both alone" Rainbow said softly, as she ran her hands through both the boys' hair before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

Dean was crying.

Sam tilted his chin up. "I missed you, Deanie."

"Me...me...too, Sammy. I couldn't...get you to stay...awake and I thought..."

"Ssh, baby, I know, you were scared. I was scared too. It was like I was floating and I couldn't always get back to you. But, I remember everything and I sure remember how well you took care of me, wrapping me up in blankets and giving me hugs and kisses. Then helping Rainbow. You saved me, baby" Sam advised, as he stroked Dean's face, wiping at the falling tears.

Dean reached up and kissed him lovingly. The kiss was sweet and tender and packed full of love.

"I love _my_ Sammy" Dean murmured much later on, as they slipped and shifted down in the bed, making themselves comfortable in their warm cocoon, wrapped tightly together.

"Dean, I do have one question for you" Sam said a while later. "How is it that you and me are wearing women's nightgowns?" "I couldn't find any shirts, so I pulled open the drawers and found these" Dean explained, laughing lightly. "I have one other question for you" Sam said, pretending to frown, before letting loose with a heartfelt laugh. "Do you find them as comfortable as I do?" Dean nodded and they both collapsed into fits of giggles.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean was refusing to leave Sam's side. Rainbow kept checking in on her charges. In times of waiting, such as these, she turned to making her mini-creations. Healing involved many layers, including the right attitude, lots of sleep, natural healing aids and good, comforting food. She was currently in the process of making a soup that would nourish both the body and the soul, when the oven timer went off.

Putting the spoon on the counter, the lid on the pot and turning it to simmer, she then donned an oven mitt and opened the oven door. The aroma wafted up and she inhaled the enticing scent deeply. The scent also reached the noses of two young men residing in the other room.

"Hmm...that smells out of this world" Sam crooned, as he watched Dean lick his lips. "I wonder what it is? Do you want me to go see?" Dean asked, already halfway off the bed. "Yeah, sounds like a plan" Sam whispered and then laughed as he watched Dean take off.

"I was wondering how long it would take" Rainbow laughed as Dean came and stood beside her, looking down at the freshly baked cookies. "They smell so good. Sam and I were just wondering what they were" Dean said mischievously. "They're my signature cookie. They're made with lemon and savoury and another ingredient that's a secret. If you promise not to tell anyone, then I'll tell you" Rainbow said in a mock conspiratorially tone. "Okay" Dean agreed readily as he lowered his ear and smiled when Rainbow told him what the other ingredient was.

"Can Sam and I have some?" Dean asked hopefully. "Of course my darling, I made them for you both. Can you please get me down two glasses and I'll pour you both some water, along with some magical crystals to make it taste really good" Rainbow chuckled. "Magical crystals? Can I see them?" Dean asked. Smiling to herself, Rainbow reached into her skirt pocket and pulled out a package of good old fashioned Grape Kool-aid crystals. "They're the best" she giggled, looking at Dean and winking. "You're the best!" Dean corrected as he put his arm around Rainbow's shoulders and hugged her.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Two purple lipped and cookie crumb faces were smiling at Rainbow a short time later. "Good?" she asked. "Great" both the boys responded in unison.

The colour was returning to Sam's face and his lips. Rainbow reapplied some more of the cream to the injured area and then sat back on the bed, looking at the boys in front of her, as she held one of their hands in each of hers. It was time to discuss the original reason she had felt compelled to find them in the first place.

"Sweetheart" she began, looking at Dean. "You've been through some very scary things this last while and look how well you are doing. You're here with Sam and you're getting better every day, which is a very special blessing. I know though, that you're still having scary thoughts about where you were and what happened to you there. I'd like to help you make them go away. It's going to be hard work and you'll be asleep for most of it, like a dream. But Dean, I would never lie to you, it's going to be like a bad dream. It'll be scary, but I can promise you, that once you go through the dream, and wake up from it, you'll start to feel more like you use too. Would you like me to help you say goodbye to these scary thoughts?" Rainbow asked, squeezing Dean's hand lightly, before releasing it. She gave Sam's hand a gentle squeeze too.

Sam was watching Dean intently, observing the look of confusion, followed by fear and then realization at what was being presented to him. He wanted nothing more than to lock Dean up in his arms and hold him safe, but this had to be Dean's decision.

Dean was inching his way closer to the edge of the bed, about to scamper off, when Sam grabbed him by the hem of his nightgown. "And just where do you think you're going, Mister?" "Umm...well...no place I guess" Dean gulped, turning to face Sam and Rainbow. "We really need to talk about this, baby" Sam said gently. "But why, Sammy?" Dean questioned, curling himself against Sam. "Don't you want to get all better, sweetums?" Rainbow asked kindly.

Dean raised his head just a tiny bit from Sam's chest. "I don't know" he answered honestly before laying his head back down and sighing. The stillness hung in the room, Rainbow and Sam waiting for Dean to continue.

"Sammy takes real good care of me and he loves me and I sure love him. We have a great house and food and even a lake" Dean declared in a small voice. No one could argue with that. Dean hit the nail right on the head. Sam pulled him tighter against him and Rainbow patted his arm.

"I'm going to leave you boys alone for awhile, so you can talk and rest. I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything" she said, placing a blanket over the two of them and then kissing each of them before leaving and closing the door.

Dean was snuggled in all warm and tight against Sam, his eyes closed and revelling in the sound of the steady heartbeat beneath his ear. Sam was stroking his hair.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Rainbow was working with the hopeful knowledge that Sam would be able to convince Dean to proceed with the healing.

Gathering the branches of the Buckthorn, Rainbow set about placing them near the doors and windows, effectively driving away any evil spirits and bad vibrations. Standing in the centre of the outer room facing East, Rainbow closed her eyes and concentrated on the healing wish she hoped to help Dean achieve. Turning to her left, she continually spread the Buckthorn until she had reached a full turn.

Returning to the kitchen table, Rainbow took out two tiny metal pots and filled one with Althea, one of the power herbs in the protection of the innocent, during rituals such as these. The other she filled with Buchu, a strong conductor to produce prophetic dreams. Measuring a small amount of Frankincense**, **Rainbow placed pinches into each of the pots before lighting a match and giving enough to each to begin the smouldering of the powerful contents.

Preparing a plate, Rainbow placed the tiny branches of Linden in the centre. Vital to keeping the spirit alive and healthy with its release of energy properties, this would be placed on Dean when the time came.

Sage was placed around the Linden branches. As an effective tool for longevity, this would be critical for Dean's healing.

Taking out branches of Ash and strips of cactus, Rainbow set about placing them strategically throughout the house, to tamper with any evil spirits who may feel the need to present themselves here.

Placing pieces of Bracken into tiny sachets, Rainbow fastened the two sachets tight. These would be placed under Dean's pillow and would aid and assist him during the dream state, ensuring the clarity of what had happened would be clear and therefore could be processed and dealt with in a sure manner.

Lastly, reaching deep into the bottom of her bag, Rainbow pulled out the remaining Frankincense in addition to dried peonies. Both were ancient herbs and considered amongst the most powerful when driving out evil and negative energy.

Rainbow suspected that the pink flowers had been tempered in Dean's situation to reflect the nightmare that he was going through. Often, in demonic playgrounds, a seemingly innocent item, such as a flower, would be over-layed and linked to something far more sinister.

Taking the left over lemon juice that Dean had squeezed earlier, she mixed it with Lemon balm, which would be spoon-fed to Dean three times, to assist with calming and soothing when he entered the path.

Rainbow was ready. She was now waiting for the boys to decide.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"You're scared, huh?" Sam probed gently. Rubbing Dean's ear, which was feeling a lot better now. Dean nodded. "I sure understand that. I'm scared too. I don't want to lose you _ever, ever_ again" Sam said fiercely, the trembles running over his body. Dean held on tighter. "If I do it, then these bad thoughts won't keep being there and trying to get me and I'd be back to being a big brother again" Dean said, weighing out the options. "But Sammy, would you still love me like you do now? I love when you help me to eat and get dressed and give me a bath and love me" Dean asked, all the innocence and love reflected in his worries and questions.

Painful as it was, Sam shifted so that he could see Dean's face very clearly. Cupping the side of Dean's face with a warm hand, Sam looked at the concerned face in front of him. "You've always been my big brother, Dean, looking out for me and taking care of me and making me always feel special. That never changes. And you know what, I promise to love you like I do now and even more so. If you had any idea how much I love helping you eat and get dressed and giving you a bath and making love to you, it would make your head spin. You're what I get up for in the morning and wait for at the end of the day. That'll _never_ change Dean, no matter what and I promise you that with all my heart" Sam whispered, as he leaned in and kissed Dean with love and support.

"Hey and something else I just thought of" Sam said, trying to lighten the very sombre mood. "You'll be able to hold your baby again." Dean leaned his head back and looked at Sam. "But I already am" he said seriously. "I meant your other baby, the one sitting outside that is missing you" Sam continued on. "Oh, that, well ya I suppose" Dean tried for nonchalance. "Hey, she use to be the love of your life, after me of course" Sam joked. Dean just smiled. Sam tried for another way to get a rise out of Dean. "Well, I guess you wouldn't mind then if I told you, that she has a terrible scratch on her from the back fender to the hood" Sam grimaced and watched and thoroughly enjoyed the spectacle of expressions that played out across Dean's face.

"Gotch'ya big brother, your baby is fine" Sam chuckled as he watched Dean's face return to a more serene state.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean agreed to proceed with the healing.

"In case I don't make it back, I better say goodbye now" Dean hiccupped, tears threatening to fall. Rainbow watched Sam falter at these words. She smiled over at him, hoping that it would give him strength.

"I love you, Monroe. You be a good doggie" Dean whispered as he rubbed his face against the small dog's fur and then placed him on the edge of the bed.

Walking over to Rainbow, Dean leaned against her and sighed. Wrapping her arm around his waist, Rainbow hugged Dean to her. "Trust me, angel. You're going to come through this" she stated, kissing his cheek.

Sam was standing beside the bed, waiting for the love of his life. Dean walked over to Sam, head hung down. "I'm scared, Sammy" he cried. Sam enfolded him into his arms and stroked his hair. "I know you are, Deanie. I know" Sam gasped. "I'm going to be holding you through it all and you're going to be coming back to me, I know you will" Sam sobbed, lifting Dean's chin up and covering his face with kisses.

Rainbow turned away to allow the boys some privacy. The emotions being displayed were raw and real. Once the crying had quieted, she cleared her throat.

"Does anyone need to go to the bathroom?" Rainbow asked, hoping to lighten the mood by a notch or two. They laughed through their tears and shook their heads no. "Just had to be sure, as no pee breaks can happen during the ritual" she chuckled. "In fact, I better go myself just to be on the safe side" she said and left the room, returning a few moments later and smiling at the guys.

"Dean, I need you to take three teaspoons of this please." Dean opened his mouth and let Rainbow give him the liquid. "And now, I need you to eat three of these sage leaves" she asked, holding out the green coloured leaves. "It will help you relax and fall into a deep sleep. Now, can you please lay on your side for me." Placing the Linden branches on his hip bone, Rainbow then placed the two Bracken sachets under his pillow. "Sam, can you please lie facing Dean, putting your hand on the dip of his hip and your lips as close to his without touching" Rainbow instructed.

"Hi gorgeous boy" Sam smiled at a nervous Dean. "Just think, when this is all over, we're going to have lots of fun" Sam said, trying to keep the mood light. Dean didn't say anything, he seemed content to simply watch Sam.

Bringing in the two diffusers, Rainbow set them down close to the bed.

Turning off the lights, Rainbow lit two candles.

"Sam and I are not going anywhere, Dean. We're going to be right here the whole time. Now my precious, I have one last question for you. Do want to travel the path of complete honesty or the sugar coated path, as you begin your journey?"

Dean's eyes were growing heavy. "Full truth" he slurred as his eyes closed.

SNSNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean was alone, naked and barefoot, at the beginning of a stark path. The trees were twisted and burnt, the ground hardened and cracked. The wind was howling and there was not another living soul in his realm.

Taking a deep breath, Dean started to walk _his_ path. It wasn't long before frozen encased forms began appearing. Dean kept his eyes focussed on the path. The encased forms began to block his path. There was no way around them, the only way was to go through them.

He waited and waited for the next movement, nothing happened. Leaning closer, the warm air that escaped from his mouth began the meltdown. The paradigms were altering, he could feel it.

Four shadows now stood before him, silent, torn flesh hanging from them like strings of lights on a Christmas tree. They encircled him. One reached out and grabbed his hair, the second twisted the wound in his shoulder, the third shadow pinched at the injury on his side and the last shadow held up four pink flowers.

The boundaries between pain and sensation were becoming too numb for Dean to diffuse any longer, as the evils took control.

To be continued.

**Author's Note: **Oh my goodness, thank you, thank you, thank you, so much for your ongoing support of this story. I most sincerely appreciate it. :) :) :)


	11. Cherished Days

**Chapter Eleven – Cherished Days**

"Sam, when Dean rouses, he will be scared and unsure of his surroundings. Just let him ease back into this reality" Rainbow advised as they both observed the struggle that Dean was going through.

He was shivering and moaning. It was exceedingly difficult to watch. Sam just wanted to pull him out of whatever was happening and wrap him up good and safe. Rainbow was being the voice of reason, cautioning Sam against this action, as it would ultimately leave Dean even more conflicted than he had been.

Placing her hand on the center of Dean's sweat soaked back, Rainbow closed her eyes. "He's struggling Sam, but its working, the healing is happening" she indicated as she opened her eyes and looked at Sam's pale and upset face.

"Sam, Dean will come back to you, I can promise you this" she advised. "The transition back won't be immediate, it will be gradual, but once it does happen, it will be complete" she confirmed.

"Dean will need you more than ever during this period. My presence at that time will only interfere with the cycle of healing, so I won't stay for too long after he awakens. I have left everything you need on the kitchen counter, with instructions. You can do this, dear heart. I have complete and full faith in you" Rainbow said, smiling. "Don't look so fearful my sweetheart, you are and always have been the best elixir for Dean."

SNSNSNSNSNSN

A fifth shadow appeared on the path, coming to stand to the side of the one holding the four flowers.

"Did you enjoy your stay in Hell, Dean? Was it everything you thought it would be? Maybe a bit different than you expected?" the voice asked.

Dean screamed as the pinching and digging of his body continued.

"Your time is at hand" the voice said loudly. And the petals from one of the flowers started to fall.

"You can pretend and wish and try to forget what you did as a little boy all those years ago. The act that started it all and ultimately sealed the fate of your family and others.

You had been told to stay in the backyard while your Mommy went to check on baby Sam, but you didn't now did you?" the voice taunted.

"You snuck out of the yard to the neighbour's house and picked some pretty pink flowers. And that's where the man with the funny coloured eyes grabbed you, holding your wrist and telling you how bad you were for not listening to your Mother. Do you remember that he said he would see you later? You should have told your Mommy or Daddy about it, Dean. You really should have.

Do you remember how you were sent to your room for leaving the yard? Do you recall how your Mommy said that she did love you and she did put the flowers in water, but that you had to understand what you did was wrong?" the voice mocked.

Dean's breathing was becoming more difficult, blackness was displaying at the edges of his eyes. Memories were returning and flooding forth.

"That night, when you looked out your window and saw the same man in your backyard, you didn't say anything to anyone. You watched him magically produce fireballs with his fingers and thought about how cool it was.

Your Mommy's screams later that night made you run out of your room and you saw the man inside your house and still you didn't say anything.

Your Mommy died a horrible death that night and your Daddy might as well have, for the way his life turned out.

You were told to take Sammy outside by your Father and you did, you saved your precious little Sam.

Tell me Dean, what would he think of you now? Would he still consider himself _your _Sammy?

If only you had said something, your Mommy and Daddy would still be alive and happy now. Sam might not even have gone off to college and left you. Jesse would most definitely still be alive.

Dean…Dean…Dean…tsk…tsk…tsk, you really should have said something. And because you didn't, look at the mess you have made of not only your life, but many others. Oh yeah, let's not forget, your precious Mother and Father are dead because of you" the voice screamed as the shadow moved close to Dean's face.

Dean knew he was screaming over and over, but nothing was coming out. The figure holding the flowers reached above its head and Dean looked up and over the figure in front of him, watching as the flowers were turned upside down and all the petals fell off.

"_Make his death unbearable!_" the voice directly in front of him told the others as it turned to leave.

The clawing started and the bites began as Dean slipped from any sense of coherency.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Rainbow was left rattled. This was proving to be one of the most difficult healings she had ever been involved with.

Against any type of odds, Sam had stayed in the exact same position that Rainbow had put him in at the beginning of the ritual.

The screaming and moaning that were emitting from Dean were torturous in the extreme. They had heard enough of the conversation on the path to leave them both feeling battle wearied with ripped souls.

From previous healings which Rainbow had conducted, the after telling had some similarities regardless of the individual circumstances. The person on the path often acted as a conductor for whatever being was coming forth. Often, either real or magnified transgressions from a person's life would be exhibited in this style.

Although no words were exclaimed, Rainbow felt sure that both she and Sam were thinking the very same thing. "How could a little boy, who was all of four at the time and wanting to do something nice for his Mom, carry the guilt that he had for all these years, simply because he did not speak up?" It was heartbreaking in the extreme and once the most difficult part of the process was completed, Rainbow and Sam were extremely anxious to get Dean back to them.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean was laying on the dirt path. His mind was fragmenting with his past reaching out to grab him. He was paying his dues now. He should have been long gone by now. Letting himself drift to the terrors awaiting him, he closed his eyes.

"_Dean!_" Mary screamed, as she watched what was being done to her first born. She had been waiting for Dean further down the path, ready to gather her son up in a Mother's love as he made his way.

Nothing prepared her for the scenario that the Shadows had brought forth. If only Dean had said something that day, if only. But the blame did not reside with him, no not at all. It resided solely with her.

Mary had met the demon with the yellow eyes years before, when she had thought he was simply a man. He had wanted her in ways that she would never give him. The bastard had been persistent and threatening and promised her that one day she would pay, in ways that she could never imagine.

Before disappearing one day from her life, he'd given Mary a little taste of his abilities. She had lived in terror and horror ever since, which was one reason that she had sent Dean up to his room on that fateful day, so that in some way, she could make him understand that he could never take off like that again.

It had almost broken her heart when he had presented her with the flowers he had so proudly picked. John had always brought her home pink peonies and Dean had wanted to follow in his Dad's footsteps.

She would have ample time to reflect on her part in the destruction of her family, but not now. She was needed. Mary recognized what these shadows signified and she was not about to lose her son to them.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

The shadows looked up from their positions above Dean's body. That was the very last thing they did, as Mary threw herself over Dean.

They stood at the edges now, lurking and waiting, ready to move in once again, should she fail to save her first born.

"Dean…Dean…it's Mommy, sweetheart. Open your eyes for Mommy. Dean, Mommy wants you to open your eyes. C'mon my boy, light of my life" Mary sobbed frantically, raising her head and looking at her son.

Mary saw the flicker and therein resided the hope. "That's it, open them my darling" she encouraged.

Her little boy's eyes finally opened and he looked at his Mommy. His twenty plus years slid away and he was four again and his Mommy was holding him.

The shadows began to start fading.

"That's it. Keep them open my precious. Mommy's got you" Mary cried. Bending down, she kissed Dean's injured shoulder and then his side, before lifting his limp body to her and hugging him tightly.

Two of the shadows had disappeared.

"Dean, you need to listen to me. I have to tell you about that day when you gave me the flowers" Mary whispered into his ear, shaking him gently to get his attention, as she began her story.

"Mommy?" Dean turned his head towards her, tasting her breath and feeling her tears.

"Right here baby. I've got you" Mary consoled.

The three remaining shadows disintegrated and the flower petals blew away. The battleground for victory was set.

"I've missed you _so_ much" Dean said in a small voice, nuzzling against the side of Mary's face. "I've missed you too my sweet, sweet angel" Mary choked.

Holding her son tight to her, knowing that all too soon, she would have to release him, she prayed that Dean would now have peace, now that he would know that he was in no way to blame and never had been.

"I'm so, so sorry for everything that has happened" Mary sobbed.

"Don't cry, Mommy, please don't cry. I love you so much and I don't want you to be sad. I know you were scared, just like me" Dean exclaimed.

Mary held him tighter. "You're such a good boy, Dean. I'm so proud of you and know that I love, love, love you so very much" Mary stated. "And when you see Sammy, tell him how much I love him too" Mary said, as she gave Dean one final kiss and set him free.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

A sound very similar to a death rattle filled the room. It was coming from Dean. His body was twisting and writhing.

"He's fighting hard for re-entry, Sam" Rainbow answered the unasked question.

Terrified green eyes slammed open and met Sam's troubled stare.

Rainbow sat down on the bed behind Dean and placed her hand on the back of his neck.

"You've come back my love" Rainbow said in a soothing tone.

"Breathe slowly…one…two…three and again" Rainbow coached, a few times, as she and Sam waited for Dean's struggles to lessen.

"That's it, nice and slow" Rainbow continued on. "Sam, can you please hold Dean's hands to your chest, just over your heart" Rainbow asked.

Sam slowly reached up and gathered Dean's shaking hands in his own and laid them on his chest.

"There you go. You're here, Dean. You're safe" Rainbow said as she lightly stroked the back of his neck with warm fingers.

"Sammy" Dean slurred as he closed his eyes.

"Rainbow, he's closing his eyes" Sam said urgently.

"It's okay, Sam, Dean has only gone to sleep, nothing more. His experiences have taken a lot out of him and he needs time to regain his strength" Rainbow advised, as she leaned over and cupped Sam's cheek in a warm clasp.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Rainbow had been right. Dean had slept deeply and trouble free and when he woke, he was his dear self. Well, the person he had become since this whole mess had happened and the person who Sam loved very much.

He was up and out of bed and standing in front of Rainbow, who was holding Monroe in her arms. "I'm back. Did you miss me?" Dean asked.

"Yes we did, sweetheart. We missed you very much" Rainbow told Dean before placing Monroe in his arms and hugging him. Dean relaxed into the warm embrace. "I'm going to be all better again" he stated. "Yes you are my precious, you most certainly are" Rainbow agreed.

Sam was standing behind them, waiting. Rainbow released Dean and gently spun him around to face Sam.

Dean was clutching Monroe tightly to him and bowed his head. Sam moved into Dean's personal space as Rainbow quietly left the room.

Meeting no resistance as he slowly removed Monroe from Dean's arms, Sam took the little dog and placed him on the bed.

Tilting Dean's chin up, Sam avidly searched the freckle covered face before him.

"I missed you, Deanie. I was so scared that you wouldn't come back" Sam cried as he leaned his forehead against Dean's.

"I need to tell you something, Sammy. I have to tell you what happened" Dean started to cry.

"You don't need too, baby. When you were on that path, both Rainbow and I got a good understanding of what happened to you, but then, you were real quiet and we were worried for you. I just wish…oh Dean…I just wish I could make the hurt go away" Sam wailed and completely wrapped his arms around Dean.

"It's okay, Sammy, don't cry" Dean hiccupped as he patted Sam's back. "I bet you heard just the bad parts, but you know what, Mommy came and helped me and Mommy wanted me to tell you how much she loves you" Dean said, a smile breaking across his face.

Pulling back but staying within the confines of Sam's arms, Dean looked up at him, with that smile.

"Mommy came to see you?" Sam asked, frowning.

"Let me tell you what Mommy said" Dean exclaimed, as moved them both over to the bed and began his story.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"Can we drive you somewhere...anywhere?" Sam asked, as he watched Rainbow finish packing her satchel. "We owe you everything, it's the very least we can do."

Rainbow smiled at Sam. "You and Dean owe me nothing, my love. I was glad I was able to be of assistance in helping both Dean and yourself. Your gifts to the world are to be treasured, Sam. The work you and Dean do are as vital to the sanctity of life as is breathing. The fates chose two very special individuals to carry out their work" Rainbow concluded, smiling warmly at Sam.

"I don't want you to go" Dean said woefully as he walked over to Rainbow and wrapped his arms around her waist. He was holding on tight, his breathing coming in short little hiccups. Sam was standing beside the two of them, petting Dean's hair, trying to make a hard situation a little easier.

"Dean, Rainbow needs to go, she needs to help other people, just like she helped us" Sam whispered, the words leaking out behind a veil of threatened tears. He really didn't want Rainbow to go either, but he knew that she must.

"You'll be seeing me again, sweets" Rainbow consoled. "Sam is right though, lovie, I must be going. I promise though, that we will get together and we'll have lots of fun and laughter" Rainbow said, feeling her eyes mist over. These boys had entered her heart in a way very few others had. She had grown very, very fond of them and looked forward to seeing them again when their paths next crossed.

Dean gave Rainbow one more heartfelt squeeze before releasing her. Sam pulled him into his arms. "I know, I know" he whispered against Dean's hair. Rainbow stepped closer and embraced both boys to her, holding the hug for a long moment before gathering her things. "Don't forget to keep watching the sky" she called out before leaving.

Dean was crying. Sam wasn't fairing much better.

"Let's go have some of that delicious soup Rainbow made" Sam urged, moving them both towards the kitchen.

Sam pulled out a chair for Dean to sit down. Sniffling, he sat down. Sam ladled out one bowl of the aromatic liquid.

Placing it in front of Dean, Sam reached back and grabbed a spoon off the counter. Gathering some of the soup on the spoon, Sam cooled it with his breath, before giving it to Dean and then trying a spoonful himself.

It was delicious, of that there was no question. Packed full of vegetables that looked recognizable, and many that didn't, it nevertheless helped to soothe frazzled nerves.

Dean swallowed all the spoonfuls that Sam feed him, in silence.

After the bowl was emptied, Sam placed the spoon in it and then clasped Dean's face between his hands.

"We're going to see Rainbow again, Dean. I know we're going to miss her, but just think how much fun it will be when we see her again" Sam said with affection, as he traced one of Dean's cheekbones with his thumb.

"Promise, Sammy" Dean finally spoke. "One hundred per cent" Sam responded truthfully.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"I can't believe you beat me again" Sam laughed as Dean pursed his lips, waiting for another round of kisses, the prize for being the winner of yet another game of Checkers. "Pay up" Dean said awkwardly through those puckered up lips.

"Gladly" Sam whispered fondly as he laid his lips against the ones that were waiting. Sweet and gentle kisses followed, long after the game had finished.

Dean tried hard to stifle a yawn. He was having too much fun to go to bed. It wasn't lost on Sam.

"Someone's tired" he noted. "Why don't we get ready for bed?" Sam said, as he gently pulled Dean up. Dean leaned against Sam and sighed. "Okay, Sammy" he agreed sleepily as Sam walked him to the bedroom and got him tucked in.

Placing Monroe on Dean's chest, Sam stroked his darl'in's cheek. "Just going to lock up" he said quietly.

Sam left the room quickly, not wanting Dean to see the tears close to falling. Walking around and turning off the lights and locking up, Sam brushed impatiently at the hot flood running down his cheeks.

He couldn't put his finger on it, but he had the overwhelming sense that Dean's transition back was almost complete. His inside wounds were healing and thanks to Rainbow, his outside ones were too. The balms that she had left for Sam to apply to Dean were working really well and they had made it part of their routine every day that Sam would gently apply the balms to the areas.

Although he was happy for all of this and very grateful, because, the alternative could have been so much worse, he was feeling very bad that this special time with Dean was drawing to a close.

Walking back into the bedroom, he forced a pretend smile Dean's way, before turning off the light and climbing into bed.

The silence in the room was heavy before Dean broke it. "Can I hold you?" he asked quietly.

That did it for Sam. The tears started to flow.

"Sam" Dean whimpered, as he took Monroe off his chest and placed him on the bed table.

Gathering his trembling baby brother close, Dean held him and rocked him and let Sam cry it all out. "We're going to be fine, Sammy...we're going to be fine" Dean consoled. He wasn't exactly sure why his Sam was crying, but that didn't matter, because Sammy needed him, just like he needed Sammy.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Dean woke to a spinning room the next morning. His head was hurting and he knew he was going to be sick.

Disentangling himself from the human blanket by the name of Sam, Dean ran for the bathroom.

Feeling the bile rise in the back of his throat with each pounding step before reaching the toilet, Dean shoved back the lid crouched down and wretched violently over and over.

With barely enough energy, he reached up and flushed the contents away, before resting his head on his arm. His mind was swirling with the events that had happened, the floodgates fully opened with total memory recall.

"Fuck!" Dean muttered limply as searing tears stained his face, re-counting all of the events that had happened in what seemed like rapid fire sequence.

Tender hands clasped Dean from behind, followed by a warm body pressed to his.

"C'mere, Dean" the voice he loved above all others, reached his ears, as strong arms pulled him back and held him tight. The fury and the fear, the sense of loss and recovery poured forth with sobs and tears, as loving arms continued to hold and gentle words replied to the broken cries.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Sam was eventually able to get Dean up off the bathroom floor and back to bed.

"Sam?"

"Right here, babe" Sam responded, tightening his arms around Dean.

"Do you still love me?" Dean asked in a hoarse whisper, his voice raw and ragged.

"More than ever" Sam replied, without missing a beat.

"Even with seeing me in all those various ways?" Dean pressed.

Shifting Dean down on the bed, Sam then re-positioned himself by lying on his side, ensuring he was up tight against Dean. Laying his head on his bent arm, Sam then looked at him.

Taking in the troubled look in those green eyes, Sam gently ran his forefinger over the length of Dean's nose. "I love you, Dean Winchester, more than you could ever begin to imagine. I'm going to say this loud and clear, so listen up. You are my everything, my life, my reason for being, the person that I love and am so in love with, that sometimes I'm convinced my heart is going to explode" Sam declared.

The troubled look in those green eyes gave way to light and sparkle, followed by a smile spreading across the dear face in front of him. Dean leaned up and captured Sam's lips. "Love, love, love you, Dean" Sam breathed.

The road to recovery was progressing.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

"What'ya do'in?" Sam asked, coming into the bedroom a few mornings later and observing Dean pulling out some clothes to wear. "I thought maybe we could go for a walk, down to the lake" Dean responded as he looked at Sam. "That sounds like a plan" Sam agreed, linking his arms around Dean and nuzzling at his neck.

Dean leaned into the touch, enjoying the feel of the warmth. Turning to face Sam, the heel of his foot hit upon something under the edge of the bed. Pressing on the familiar bottle, Dean smiled.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

The walk to the lake did not happen that day. When Sam had left the bedroom to brush his teeth, he was in for a most unexpected and pleasant surprise when he returned.

Dean was laying on the bed, his hand between his legs, not really doing anything, just moving his hand in slow strokes over his boxers. He held up the bottle of lube with his other hand and smiled invitingly at Sam.

Sam crawled onto the bed, kneeling beside Dean. The smell of arousal was permeating the air.

Bending down, Sam kissed wetly at the side of Dean's neck. "Are you sure?" he murmured.

"Very" Dean groaned as he took one of Sam's hands and moved it under his boxers.

Sam ran his fingers through Dean's pubic hair, over his balls and around his rosy penis, before coming to rest and lightly clasp the little pocket of un-muscled flesh at the very top of Dean's inner thigh. He loved it, always had, and always would, Sam thought as he ran his thumb and forefinger over the area.

"Hmmm" Dean panted. "Need you" he breathed, tugging his boxers down and off, as Sam continued his loving.

"Sam...please" Dean begged as he tried to undo the lube. Sam reluctantly left one of his favourite areas and undid the bottle. Squeezing a generous amount onto his fingertips, Sam swirled it around before reaching back down to Dean's lower region.

"Stay with me, just a little while longer, baby" Sam encouraged as Dean panted and thrust, looking for release.

Sam slid his hand between the cheeks of Dean's taunt backside and found his entrance. Gently inserting one finger and slowly circling it around, Sam then placed in a second one. "Okay Dean...okay" Sam soothed as he licked Dean's neck, tasting the salt and sweat from his skin.

"Can you turn onto your stomach for me?" Sam asked. "I want to see you, Sammy" Dean whimpered. "But baby, it'll hurt more" Sam said in concern. "Please Sammy, please" Dean begged.

Sam mounted Dean, covering his body completely as he ground their groins together before slipping a little further down. Holding himself, Sam slowly inserted the head of his dick into Dean, gauging his brother's reaction.

Dean locked his legs around Sam's hips, while grabbing at him, pulling him closer and in further. "Sam" he keened as Sam plunged deep and began a thrusting rhythm.

It was somewhat awkward, but Sam was able to adjust himself so that he was able to rub Dean's rock hard erection at the same time. "C'mon babe, you're here, you're ready" Dean grunted, feeling Sam shudder against him and his seed spilling deep within him.

Sam gave Dean's dick one final rub before collapsing against him. It was enough. Dean came hard and fully, his semen spreading between their two bodies, feelings of Nirvana spreading.

"Wow" Sam mumbled as he went to slide out from Dean. Not wanting to break the union, Dean held him tight. "Stay with me" he asked. Sam happily obeyed.

Two highly contented and well loved brothers followed some serious lovemaking with well earned long sleeps, entangled together.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

The days were progressing. Time did not stand still, no matter how much you wished it could sometimes.

Things would never be quite the same again. They would be resuming their hunting soon enough and both the guys were looking forward to seeing Bobby again. His disbelief on the telephone had turned to rampant joy when he understood and fully realized that Dean was most certainly back. Dean's amulet and ring were ready to wear. It was almost too much to see them again. They were almost like a bridge from then to now.

Dean was holding Monroe to him, not wanting the little guy to feel left out. Sam was just waking. "Well Monroe, looks like somebody has decided to re-join the land of the living" Dean laughed as Sam yawned wide, before giving Monroe a pat and kissing Dean.

The rain had slowed down to a drizzle. Dean had opened the bedroom window earlier and a fresh wind was blowing in. Sam was resting against his chest, sighing, as Dean ran his fingers through his hair.

"Hmm...hmm" Dean hummed, blissfully content and truly happy. Closing his eyes while enjoying the moment, Dean sensed the colour change behind his eyelids and re-opened them. "Sam? C'mon babe, open your eyes and take a look" Dean said excitedly.

Grumbling good-naturedly, Sam opened them.

Framed by the window and stretching out across the sky, was a lush and full rainbow, its multi-colours bursting with brightness, bringing forth happy promises to the adorable twosome admiring it from the comfort of their love.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

If one is really lucky in life, they get to meet their soul mate, someone that reaches in and tugs beyond the heart strings, someone you can trust with your inner most being, where judgements are not made and what is shared is profoundly special.

_Sam and Dean – brothers, lovers, soul mates._

Cherished moments during this unique time in their relationship brought forth many feelings for each of them. While it could never be exactly the same as when Dean was truly in a state of suspended animation, what transpired since his transition back, filled them both up with everything good and honest and true, about themselves and about their relationship with each other.

Their love for one and other allowed in a special dimension to their relationship. It was never planned nor anticipated but when it happened, it was certainly cherished.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Today was proving to be one of the cherished days.

They had driven to the small town about an hour's drive from their cabin. They needed to stock up on fresh food staples and lumber to fix the ceiling in the little room. All the rain had really taken a toll on that portion of the house.

After making their choices and paying for the items, as they walked back to the car, Sam was holding the bag of groceries.

Dean slipped his hand into Sam's, the car keys pressed between the two hands. Sam stopped walking and looked down at Dean, who smiled up at him through shyness and want and love, before hiding his face against Sam's arm.

Dropping the groceries on the ground, Sam rolled Dean into a hug. "Hey you" he said tenderly, nuzzling Dean's hair. "I sure love you, Deanie" he whispered.

Dean crushed himself up tight into the protectiveness that was _his _Sammy.

Sam held Dean and rocked him gently back and forth and told him how very much he loved him.

"Let's go home, baby" Sam suggested as he led them to the car. Opening the passenger door and getting Dean settled inside, Sam then went back for the groceries and placed them in the back seat, along with the plywood they had purchased earlier, to fix the roof in the little room.

Dean waited until Sam climbed in and started the engine before curling up on the front seat, with his head on Sam's thigh. Sam looked down and smiled at the profile of his big brother. Sam delicately ran his fingertips over Dean's face, before he pulled out of the parking lot.

Dean was quiet on the way home. Running his hand in circles over Sam's knee, Dean was lost in the love he was feeling for the man he so adored.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

After they'd gotten back, Sam insisted Dean have a rest. Regardless of what his older brother claimed, Sam knew without a doubt, that Dean needed these naps.

"There you go fella" Sam said quietly as he tucked the blankets up and around Dean. Sitting beside him on the bed, Sam stroked his forehead. "Close your eyes, Dean. You need the sleep" Sam soothed. "As soon as I put the groceries away and get supper started, I'll be in to join you" Sam stated, bending down and kissing Dean sweetly. He then leaned over a little further and gave Monroe a kiss too.

Dean snuggled deeper into the bed and finally fell asleep.

Sam waited and watched as his brother's breathing evened out in a dreamless sleep.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

Waking up after what turned out to be a fantastic sleep, Dean was feeling relaxed and very contented as he stretched and threw the covers back. The aroma wafting in from the kitchen had his mouth watering.

Sam was just finishing cutting up the watermelon and was about to go and get Dean for supper, when he heard the footsteps behind him. "Hmmm" Dean murmured. "It smells and looks fantastic, Sammy" Dean said, as he wrapped his arms around Sam's waist and leaned against his back. "Hey, I thought you were going to join me?" Dean questioned. Sam smiled. "I had planned on it, but then supper took a bit longer to get ready than I thought." "That's okay, Sammy, we've got lots of time" Dean replied as he kissed the middle of Sam's back.

The plates were loaded with steaks, potatoes, green beans and corn. Large glasses of milk had been poured and were ready and waiting. Pie was for dessert and it looked like blueberry, along with mugs of the good kind of hot chocolate. Dean took his place at the table and sat back and watched and waited for Sam.

Placing the watermelon in a bowl, along with bite-size pieces of fudge, which were purchased earlier, Sam then joined Dean at the table. Scraping his chair closer to Dean, Sam then cut-up the steaks.

"Here you go, babe" Sam smiled as he held up the fork to Dean's mouth. Sliding it in, he kept his gaze on Dean while he chewed. "This is great!" Dean congratulated, as he swallowed the meat. Reaching out, Sam tweaked Dean's nose gently.

"That was _so_ good, Sammy" Dean told him later on, as he sat on Sam's lap and alternated eating the bite size pieces of fudge and watermelon chunks. Little rivers of pink melon juice were trickling down his chin, cutting paths through the hot chocolate stains. His eyes were bright and sparkling as he looked at Sam.

Sam felt his heart shift with the overwhelming love he had for Dean. All these layers and levels that Dean was gifting to him were placing Sam's protectiveness and affection on top volume. He simply could not get enough of the one person who was his everything.

Leaning in, Sam kissed the trickles of juice from Dean's face. "Want a bath?" he whispered.

SNSNSNSNSNSN

The warm water, the bubbles, the laughter and the loving encompassed the bathroom in a heady mix. Only when the water began to cool and the bubbles fade, did they decide to pull the plug.

Sam was laying on the couch, waiting for Dean to finish brushing his teeth and join him. Walking out of the bathroom and seeing Sam, Dean stopped and grinned.

"C'mere, Dean" Sam encouraged as he held out his arms. Dean leaped forward and sunk down and into those waiting arms. Throwing a blanket over the both of them, Sam held Dean tight against him. Dean's head was resting over the strong beat of Sammy's heart.

This was _their_ home, it wasn't a building or a car or a patch of land, it was this, the two of them wrapped up together, at home in each other's arms.

The end.

**Author's Note: **A big and very sincere thank you dear friends for your loving support of this story. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you again. :)

I'll be back later in the Fall, with a new story entitled: _Treasures by the Trash_. I hope you'll join me at that time. Below please find a small cut-out from the story.

**Treasures by the Trash**

..."Have a good week off, Dean. You deserve it, young man. We couldn't get along here without you" Mr. De Lucca stated sincerely. "Here's a little something extra for your holidays" he continued, as he handed Dean some money.

"I can't accept this, Mr. De Lucca. You've helped me out more than you'll ever know, by believing in me and giving me this job. That's more than enough" Dean said, trying to give the money back.

"Dean, please take it. I want you to have it. Go out and have some fun. Now go, get out of here, before I change my mind" Mr. De Lucca chuckled as he walked away.

Dean looked down at the money in his palm. "Thanks, Mr. De Lucca" he called out as he put the money into his jeans pocket.

Grabbing the bag of garbage, Dean made his way out the kitchen back door of the small greasy spoon restaurant.

"He shoots...he misses...the fans go wild...boo...hiss" Dean hollered in a low voice as he tossed the garbage and missed the bin. Dean walked over, bent down and reached between the large metal containers to retrieve the wayward bag.

"_Holy shit!"_ he howled in surprise as his hand touched goose-bumped flesh.

Falling backwards, Dean squinted at the space between the containers, trying to get a better visual of who was there. The poor lighting made it difficult.

The person appeared to be a female, with angry looking bruising on her upper arms and a torn dress. Her head was down against her pulled up knees.

"Hey there, don't be scared, you just startled me. I bet I scared you too" Dean said in his most soothing voice as he righted himself to a crouching position closer to the entrance of the space between the bins.

"Please...just go away. I...I'll be okay" a deep and tearful voice responded. Dean hesitated, the deep voice didn't sound like a girl's. However, the torment was real. Dean quietly observed the person between the trash bins. He'd been mistaken, this was certainly no girl.

"My name's Dean" he said softly, daring to reach out again and lightly touch the young man, in the torn dress with the bruises, who was clearly hurting. "What's yours?" he asked gently.

There were a few moments of silence, before the head lifted to reveal a tear streaked face. Mournful eyes looked up at him. "It's Sam" he cried.


End file.
